Forgiven
by Keridwen
Summary: A hate so strong it tears a planet a part: A love so strong it brings together what had previously been broken. It is Finished!!!- Cried the tired and overwrought fanfiction writer as she sobbed in her pillow! R
1. The Explosion

Author: Keridwen  
  
Title: Forgiven  
  
Disclaimer: Star Trek Belongs To Paramount  
  
  
  
  
  
Prologue:  
  
A Hate  
  
  
  
A crowd of figures materialized on the jade steps of the front gate to the city of Le'gin. They were most peculiar lot, but not in the way they looked. True, there was three humanoids with austere looking facial features and pointed ears, a blue skinned four armed hominoid who appeared to be breathing out of his neck, and three terran humans, all in different styles of dress, but that wasn't why they were peculiar. It was they way they acted.  
  
  
  
The flat-faced Nillians in the market square ignored the group; they had extraterrestrial visitors all the time. They did however turn their senses towards the group to understand more about their intentions.  
  
  
  
Nervous,  
  
  
  
Hesitant,  
  
  
  
Reserve coming from the three pointed ear ones,  
  
  
  
Alertness from the blue one,  
  
  
  
Anxiousness from the large human dressed in green and silver.  
  
  
  
Anger? Yes anger coming from the human in the blue military uniform, but it was not directed at them. In his mind he was shaping and throwing his anger at the woman in the gray dress next to him.  
  
  
  
And the woman's feelings?  
  
  
  
Sadness, Regret, Guilt.  
  
  
  
Deep Guilt.  
  
  
  
The younger Nillians in the group were saddened. How could humans let such hurtful feelings develop to such an extreme stage?  
  
  
  
The elder shoppers sighed with understanding. These humans could not help each other deal with their emotions through a psionic link, and therefore led a very stressful and hard lifestyle. The Nillians also understood that they could not help them in matters of controlling their hurtful emotions. They still had not perfected their abilities of reading emotions, and many wars spawned from hate and fears were still brewing on their planet. The planet of Nilana had just recently "seen the light" in matters of their own natures, and a new order was being formed. This new way of thinking, of using the psionic powers to help each other deal with emotions, now included over seventy five percent of the planets population, and was still growing. All of the Nillians were sick of war, and were ready to travel into space on peaceful missions of diplomacy and discovery. Yet, the planet was still torn between the growing pacifist movement and the age-old militant movement. Helping other races was out of the question until they could control the hateful intentions of their own people. That was probably why the New Comers where here. They knew that their chancellor had been so stressed because of the growing rebellion that he had asked the help of a group of peace loving people from other stars.  
  
  
  
As the group left the steps the elder Vulcan ordered the rest of the group to activate a small device at their belts. A humming noise surrounded the newcomers, and the Nillians in the market square could no longer read them.  
  
  
  
A psionic shield.  
  
  
  
"The must be a diplomatic team from one of the great space powers", said an elderly man to his group of listeners. "They don't like us reading them when they are trying to bargain for something. Since they can't read us back I suppose it is a fair thing for them to do."  
  
  
  
"But sir," said one of the younger listeners. "Doesn't that put us at a grave disadvantage? What if they come to deceive us!"  
  
  
  
The elder looked at his young protégé. The young man had much to learn about they ways of the universe.  
  
  
  
"Do you think we are so better than them? We have had our own deceptions and our own wars Korin. Keeping us excluded from the rest of the universe will only allow our faults to fester and grow. We should welcome what ever these new comers have the give for…."  
  
  
  
He paused, shut his eyes and tried to read this new feeling he felt.  
  
  
  
The old man could feel a new presence in the market square. The others seemed to have caught a bit of it too for many people stopped what they were doing to look about them. The new presence was not like the others. It was not thinking of buying or selling goods.  
  
There were Evil intentions in the unknown presence.  
  
  
  
"A Hate!"  
  
  
  
The listeners looked around in surprise. A Hate! Here?  
  
  
  
The old man stretched his senses further into the crowd. The person was moving forward towards the steps in a purposeful manner. There was death, destruction, and murder in the mind of the Hate.  
  
  
  
"My friends, the offworlders are in danger!"  
  
  
  
The listeners turned as one, to voice a warning, but it was to late.  
  
  
  
A large explosion rocked the market place. It came from the front gate. The party of people who had just appeared a few minutes ago had disappeared. People ran and fled the smoke and falling debris. Minds shut down to keep out the cacophony of mind screams from the dying, and pain from the wounded. Psionic fields went up over the stalls and order was slowly restored.  
  
  
  
The elder sat where he was, where he had first sensed the Hate. It had built up from a large determination and fear. A tear slowly slid down one of his old wrinkled cheeks. The Hate was now extinguished, as well as whatever good intentions the offworlders had thought to bring.  
  
  
  
"Yes, my children," he whispered into the blowing dust of the explosion, "You have much to learn indeed about the ways of the universe. Fear will be your undoing as long as you harbor it and let it rest in your soul. Ask for the help others offer, before you turn into the Hate that destroyed our future today."  
  
  
  
The sun slowly set over the market as rescue workers tried to sort out what had happened. In the darkening sky a light streaked across the horizon. A Federation starship.  
  
  
  
Enterprise. 


	2. Chapter 1: Enterprise

Author: Keridwen  
  
Title: Forgiven  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
  
  
Captains Log:  
  
  
  
I have just informed Starfleet command of the tragedy on the planet Nilana. They have ordered the Enterprise to stay on twenty-four more hours before we continue on our mission. During that time, we are to try to reopen talks between the peaceful government on Nilana and the Federation. We are also to make our own investigation into the explosion on the planet.  
  
  
  
I fear that twenty-four hours are not enough. We have just lost three supreme Vulcan diplomats, as well as two civilians and two crewmembers of the Enterprise to this terrorist attack, and soon the galaxy will be screaming for answers.  
  
  
  
I add in for the record the names of the landing party members and their rank and or status.  
  
  
  
Name: Ambassador Sorek  
  
Planet: Vulcan  
  
Rank: Diplomatic Team Leader  
  
  
  
Name: Solon  
  
Planet: Vulcan  
  
Rank: Assistant Ambassador  
  
  
  
Name: T'ren  
  
Planet: Vulcan Colony Ansisirus  
  
Rank: Translator and Communications Specialist  
  
  
  
Name: Ed Nuvarian  
  
Planet: Aquatica  
  
Rank: Security Guard; Lieutenant jg U.S.S. Enterprise  
  
  
  
Name: Robert Ethelridge  
  
Planet: Martian Colonies  
  
Rank: Economic/ Diplomatic advisor to Nilana  
  
  
  
Name: Jocelyn Darnell  
  
Planet: Earth  
  
Rank: Press Secretary for the Sol system; United Federation of Planets  
  
  
  
Name: Leonard McCoy  
  
Planet: Earth/Centaurus  
  
Rank: CMO/ Lt. Commander/ U.S.S. Enterprise  
  
  
  
All members are feared lost. 


	3. Chapter 2: Awakening

Author: Keridwen  
  
Title: Forgiven- Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount. The basis for my version of the Character of Jocelyn Darnell/McCoy/Treadway Comes from the book "Shadows on the Sun" as does the events of McCoy's and Jocelyn's life before the Original Series.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Two – Awakening  
  
  
  
Light slowly came back into his world. With light came pain, and memory.  
  
  
  
There had been an explosion!  
  
Leonard McCoy tried to get up, and found out that that was a mistake.  
  
  
  
"Ohhhh! SHIT!"  
  
  
  
He moved his arms and legs, self-diagnosing his condition. He had a lot of bruises.  
  
  
  
"Umgh!"  
  
  
  
That small feminine moan defiantly didn't come from him. He remembered a landing party. What planet were they on again? Nime .. Nili.. Nilana, Yes that was it. They had come to Nilana to delegate a peace between two warring factions on the planet. He remembered arguing with Jim about beaming down.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Two hours earlier on the Enterprise)  
  
"Jim, having one person in the vicinity who can read my mind is bad enough. But having to beam down to a whole planet of SPOCK'S is out of the question. That is the last thing I need to do, and if you really wanted to have a reliable diplomatic person down on the planet, sending one more Vulcan wouldn't hurt. And further more, why me!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
A usual, Jim was avoiding the all out verbal battle the Doctor wanted. His one-line responses were making McCoy angrier by the minute and they were nearly to the transporter. As far as the Doctor was concerned, the odds of getting out of this mission were not good.  
  
"What did I do to deserve this?"  
  
"You failed to report when the diplomatic party beamed aboard. Spock was on time. Therefore you get to go with the diplomats."  
  
"godammit Jim, I was in surgery!"  
  
"That's what they all say."  
  
Jim Kirk was smiling now. He didn't like to put his best friend in these situations, but his better judgment told him that McCoy was the best pick for this mission. The Federation had sent him three Vulcans to beam down – so much for galactic diversity- and he needed another force to balance them out. McCoy was always there to counter balance logic with intuition, and he would get Kirk the results he needed down on the planet. For a doctor who insisted he was nothing else but a doctor, he had many other talents.  
  
They came to the doors of the transporter room and Kirk paused long enough to tell him this. McCoy scowled, but took the compliments without a fight.  
  
"Now get in there and do what ever it is you do during these missions," snapped Kirk, "I know you look like your sleeping half the time but…"  
  
"But nothing, I DO sleep."  
  
"Whatever, just go, they are waiting for you."  
  
The doors opened and McCoy walked towards the transporter. Yup, just as he had suspected, three Vulcans, standing there looking at him as if he were a specimen to be analyzed, labeled, and put away for further use. Also with them was a human he didn't know by name, but knew as the Economics Advisor from Mars. Also, standing next to him was the security guard Kirk had insisted on sending down. And next to him…  
  
Jocelyn?!  
  
McCoy almost stumbled on the steps in front of the Vulcans. What the Hell was she doing here. On the Enterprise, in SPACE.  
  
He took his position next to her on the platform with as much control as he could muster.  
  
"Hello Leonard," she whispered, "Surprised to see me."  
  
He saw red.  
  
From behind the transporter consol, just as the landing party was dematerializing, Kirk glimpsed the expression on McCoy's face, but didn't have time to ask what was bothering him. He just hoped he hadn't done the wrong thing by sending him on this mission.  
  
  
  
(Nilana)  
  
  
  
She was here.  
  
  
  
McCoy remembered beaming down, and being so mad a Jocelyn he couldn't see straight. What was she doing here! On the Enterprise.  
  
  
  
He had pulled her away from the others, behind one of the large jade columns. They needed to talk.  
  
  
  
"Jocelyn," he had said, "What are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
"I'm the Federation press correspondent for this mission." She had replied as if that was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. "Actually, I am the Sol Systems Representative's Secretary, but the press correspondent got sick so my boss sent me instead. I might ask you the same question. Weren't you working on star base twenty nine?"  
  
  
  
"You knew I was promoted to the Enterprise three years ago, don't give me that."  
  
  
  
They were working themselves into one of their famous battles when the ground shook, and they were thrown to the ground. An explosion deafened him, and then he didn't remember anything else.  
  
  
  
  
  
Now he was shaking his head, trying to clear it. Slowly looking up he saw a stone roof with a barred window near the top of the wall. There was a door as well, but it was entirely made of a strong metal. The floor was dirt. There was only one other person in the room with him. Only one other person it could possibly be.  
  
  
  
"Jocelyn, can you hear me?"  
  
  
  
He crawled across the floor on bruised arms and legs to turn her over. There was a gash on her forehead, but it wasn't deep. He sighed in relief.  
  
  
  
"Leonard, is that you?"  
  
  
  
He leaned closer. "Yes Jos, I'm here."  
  
  
  
"Leonard, where are we."  
  
  
  
He looked around, and noticed that the door and window were the only noticeable things about the room. It was obviously a prison, and as far as he was concerned, that wasn't good.  
  
  
  
Then, slowly, the door began to open………. 


	4. Chapter 3: Valuable

Author: Keridwen  
  
Title: Forgiven  
  
Disclaimer: Star Trek and all other characters in this story belong to Paramount and Michael Jan Friedman – Author of "Shadows on the Sun" The rest of the twisted plot is mine.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 3 - Valuable  
  
  
  
The door swung open to reveal the shadowed face of a Nillian guard. At least they were on the right planet. Leonard struggled to his knees, and then to his feet.  
  
  
  
"Why are we being held here against our will? You have no right to treat a member of the federation of planets in this manner. We had come to see the prefect of the city of Le'gin and he will be very disappointed that we were so mistreated."  
  
  
  
The guard just leered at McCoy and said, "The prefect is dead, and if you don't want to join him, you had best quiet yourself."  
  
  
  
The guard laughed then.  
  
  
  
"I can sense you have a lot of bravery for one so powerless Doctor. You are also not as dimwitted as we suspected you off worlders to be."  
  
  
  
McCoy frantically checked his belt, but the psionic shield was gone. The guard held up the small federation device and waved it in front of the Doctors face. Then he took it in both hands and crushed it to powder. He laughed at McCoy's pitiful attempt to shield his astonishment and fear. Torturing these defenseless earthers would be very entertaining.  
  
  
  
"Jocelyn raised her head from the ground and, fighting back tears, glared at the guard.  
  
  
  
He sensed her feelings and then directed his full attention to her. He laughed a nervous laugh and then stepped back.  
  
  
  
"You have a forceful will, and much hate. I pity the man who would choose a you for a life mate."  
  
  
  
Leonard turned a different shade of red and yelled at the guard.  
  
  
  
"Well… are you just going to stand there and read our minds; we can bloody well tell you ourselves that we hate you, we hate being here, we hate the situation were in, and .. Oh yes, FOR FUTURE REFRENCE, we hate each other too. Now that I have saved you a few steps do you mind doing something useful… why don't you tell us why we are here."  
  
  
  
"You are here," the guard shouted back at McCoy with an equal amount of gusto, "Because my master wills it. And because you," he shoved his energy weapon into McCoy's chest for effect, "are Valuable. You are a federation officer, and we will use you to bargain with our government for what we want. The council of prefects doesn't want to anger the mighty starship orbiting our planet at this very moment, and so… YOU Are VALUABLE TO US."  
  
  
  
The guard too a deep breath and then belted the Doctor in the jaw, sending him flying across the room to land against the wall. He melted onto the floor like a puddle of jello and didn't get up again.  
  
  
  
"And you tell him when he wakes up", said the guard to Jocelyn as he closed the door, " that after he ceases to be valuable, I will enjoy killing him very slowly."  
  
  
  
And with that he left to go get council from his friends for the emotions he has just lost control of. They would have to be tempered and controlled if he was to continue in his duties. His hate was his most powerful weapon, and he wasn't about to let it get unruly because of a few measly outworlders.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Captains Personal Log:  
  
  
  
I don't know what to do. There, I've put off admitting that for way to long. It feels good to say it.  
  
  
  
Starfleet won't let me stay longer. The federation wants the Enterprise out of this system as well. I received a message from the President this morning on the priority one channel. He tells me that we need to let the situation calm down. He says, and I quote,  
  
"The Federation can not be seen as a force that will meddle in every planetary disturbance. We must withdraw our inquiries for a time until the ramifications of this terrorist attack blows over and we can reopen negotiations with the planet Nilana."  
  
  
  
As a Captain I must follow my orders of course. But as a friend…  
  
I just don't know.  
  
Mr. Spock suggested that I put in a request for a new Chief Medical Officer. I have never come so close to punching my First Officer until now. I realized then that he was telling me to do exactly what Bones would have wanted me to do.  
  
For a Vulcan, he sure understands humans very well.  
  
Still, I keep heading for sickbay to find my answers. The one person who could give them to me is no longer there.  
  
(A bump and a muttered explicative comes from the log)  
  
End log.  
  
  
  
Captain James Kirk stopped his dictation to look at the vase of flowers that he had knocked over. Muttering again he knelt down and set the thing back on the dresser. He had been discussing his feelings and pacing through the room without watching where he was going. On his way to his feet he glanced at his safe.  
  
Damn  
  
There was another thing that he had forgotten in the past twenty-four hours. Slowly he opened the safe and withdrew a slim gold file card. He remembered the day McCoy had given it to him.  
  
  
  
(Months earlier)  
  
  
  
"Here is my report on that disease from Psi 2000. This time the spelling is all correct. Damn but your picky."  
  
"Thank you Doctor,"  
  
Kirk looked up to notice that McCoy was still standing in front of him. There was another computer tape in his hand.  
  
"What is it."  
  
"I …um…. Well, I have been neglecting to give you this. You should have received it when I first cam aboard, Captain."  
  
Kirk knew what it was then. All of his officers had given him their request tapes, in the event of a death, disaster, or disappearance, except for McCoy. He had not worried. The odds of losing ones medical officer were even lower that losing ones first officer. As far as Kirk was concerned, there was no rush. He took the tape and smiled at his friend.  
  
"Are you planning on being dead any time soon, Doctor?"  
  
"I might if you keep sticking me in that Dammed transporter!"  
  
They had spent a few minutes laughing over that before McCoy had gone back to sickbay.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Now, he really was gone. Kirk felt tears grow in his eyes as he slid the slim gold card into the computer. Stubbornly, he refused to let them fall.  
  
The will was short, as a doctor, McCoy hated the long and drawn out nuances involved with death. He preferred to celebrate life instead. After all the property was taken care of, McCoy looked up from the paper he had bee reading and smiled at his friend. It was almost as if Kirk could speak to him throught the screen.  
  
  
  
"I don't intend for you to ever hear this, Jim. I often suspect that you will go before me. You take way to many chances with your life."  
  
  
  
His tone grew serious then.  
  
  
  
"Jim, I do have one personal request. Joanna. Will you tell her personally? Don't let here receive one of those God-awful letters you write to family members.  
  
Do you remember our first trip to Centaurus? She was so young. I told you then that I met "whats-her-name" somewhere in Georgia.  
  
Well here name was Jocelyn Darnell."  
  
  
  
  
  
The Doctor paused as if he had to steel himself to even talk about his ex wife.  
  
  
  
"I loved her, sometimes I think I still do. Will you let her know as well…  
  
Alright, enough of this clap trap, I have work to get to, see you on the other side, Jim"  
  
  
  
  
  
The tape ended there.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Jocelyn Darnell" Kirk muttered. "No wonder."  
  
He was glad that McCoy hadn't been mad at him during the last minutes of his life. Now there was nothing he could do about Jocelyn, but he was glad that at least they were together in a place where they could at last find some closure. 


	5. Chapter 4: Jocelyn

Author: Keridwen  
Title: Forgiven  
Disclaimer: Star Trek and the people in this story belong to paramount. The events and the ideas for the back-stories for Jocelyn's and Leonard's life belong to authors Michael Jan Friedman and Brad Ferguson (Shadows on the Sun - Crisis on Centaurus) Recommended summer reading!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Four: JOCELYN  
  
  
  
  
The door clanged shut, and Jocelyn took that as her chance to get off the floor. She ached all over, and it was a struggle to get to her knees.  
  
"Aw damnit all, Leonard!" she muttered to herself. "You just had to get all riled up didn't you?"  
  
When the unconscious Doctor failed to answer her, she became a little worried.  
  
She turned him over and saw that his forehead had struck the wall. He was bleeding, and unconscious, but not dead.   
  
Thank God, not dead.  
  
She didn't think she could take that.  
  
  
  
While she waited for him to wake up she allowed herself a moment of private thoughts. Thoughts she would only allow herself when he was either millions of miles away; or unconscious.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
FIFTEEN YEARS EARLIER  
  
  
  
  
She shivered in the cold.  
  
  
Where was he? The Shuttle had landed fifteen minutes ago.  
  
  
  
Jocelyn Darnell strained her neck to see over the crowds of people pouring out of the John F Kennedy intergalactic shuttle port. It was unseasonably warm for February in New York City. Clumps of snow were falling off of the trees to melt on the pavement. The natives were walking around in sweaters and jeans. The aliens from glacial planets were in shorts or other articles of clothing similar. They talked about moving to Canada in a few weeks. The Vulcans and other people from desert planets were still in long coats and hats.   
  
  
Jocelyn wore her long coat and slim leather gloves, but she had been born right here on earth. Valdosta Georgia to be specific. New York was still a little cold for her tastes.  
  
  
Yet, the cold didn't matter right now. What really mattered was that her boyfriend got his sorry behind out of the shuttle port so she could see him.   
  
  
"I didn't wait all this time just so he could leave me out here sitting in the cold."  
  
  
She sat down on a bench and shivered again.  
  
  
"Jos!"  
  
  
She looked up. Then she jumped up.  
  
  
"Len! Over here."  
  
  
Now she was standing on the bench waving her hands and shouting like a crazed person. Her coat was flapping wide open in the wind, and her long brown hair floated along with it. She was grinning from ear to ear and there were tears in her eyes.  
  
  
She was the most beautiful sight Leonard McCoy had ever seen.  
  
  
He waved to her and then fingered the slim box in his coat pocket. He had sworn to himself that he was going to wait a year until he proposed to her, just so they could both be sure, but hell, the wait was beginning to kill him. He would have to content himself with giving her the most spectacular necklace he could find in Atlanta; a ruby star with a gold chain.   
  
  
She ran to him and he caught her in his arms.   
  
  
"Oh it's so good to see ya Len."  
  
  
She looked him over.  
  
  
Beneath his gray overcoat he was dressed in casual khakis and a blue shirt. She loved it when he wore blue. It brought out the incredible color in his eyes.   
  
  
She looked up into his face again and realized that if she didn't kiss him that very instant, she was going to bust out in tears.   
  
  
He kissed her back with enthusiasm, and the trees, people, noise, and even the cold were lost to the young couple.  
  
  
After breaking the kiss she held a hand to his face.  
  
  
"Leonard McCoy! If you ever, and I mean EVER, leave me so alone for so long again, I'm gonna come after you. You wont even live to regret it because I'm gonna shoot you out into space without life support."  
  
  
He grinned.  
  
  
"Jocelyn, if I ever leave you again for so long; I'll have left life itself."  
  
  
She choked back a sob. Darn if she didn't have to kiss him again.  
  
  
He led her out of the crowd and under the protection of a willow tree on the edge of Trade Park. The wind had picked up again and the wisps of the willow tree blew to cover them from prying eyes.   
  
  
He gave her the small box from his pocket and she looked mischievously into his eyes.   
  
  
"Now what have you gone and done this time Leonard. I swear I'm going to have to buy another jewelry box because of you."  
  
  
"Just open it."  
  
  
She obeyed. And As soon as she was finished marveling over the gift, he slowly took it out of the box and put it around her neck.  
  
  
"Leonard", she whispered against his lips. They were going for a record three-kiss reunion. "Why a star? Your gifts always mean something. Why a star?"  
  
  
"Stars are a symbol of bigger things, Jos. I want you to remember when you wear this that my love is more than the stars in the galaxy."  
  
  
He held her close for a long time while the sun set; shining its light on the spectacular park where the World Trade Center used to stand all those many years ago. Passers by smiled as they watched two young lovers discovered the galaxies secrets in each others hearts.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
NILANA  
  
  
The light in the small prison cell faded. The stars began to show in the sky. While she waited for him to wake up she stared out of the window and fingered the ruby star beneath her blouse. She rarely ever took it off. It felt warm as against her skin, giving comfort to sustain her for the long night ahead. 


	6. Chapter 5: The Night

Title: Forgiven  
Author: Keridwen  
Disclaimer: Oh, the usual. This one is getting very fun.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 5: The Night  
  
  
That night the cell grew extremely cold. The heat was leached from their bodies and the floor to travel in wisps of air out between the bars of the window into the starry night sky.   
  
McCoy had soon regained consciousness with a splitting headache. It had been almost a day and a half since they had seen or heard from anyone.   
  
  
All of the stars stood still, fixed in a silent vigil over the two prisoners.   
  
All but one, which traveled steadily away towards the horizon. It traveled to slowly to be a meteor.  
  
  
McCoy turned away from the window; he wasn't able to watch the Enterprise sweep over the horizon in its orbit.  
  
"They probably think were dead," he muttered to himself. "They would be stupid, or worse, illogical to hope we survived the blast."  
  
  
  
It would be up to him then, to get them both out of this predicament. He, Leonard McCoy, the pacifist, the follower, the yes-sir-how-high-do-I-jump-sir, but-I'll-have-you-know-I'm-a-Doctor-not-an-acrobat kinda guy; HE would have to come up with a plan of action.  
  
For once the Doctor desperately wished Spock were around. The Vulcan could do one of those warped mind trick thingies on the guard and they would be back on the Enterprise in a jiffy, sleeping in warm beds.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He heard a noise, and turned toward the corner.  
  
Jocelyn was shivering and rubbing her arms together.  
  
She was also crying.  
  
McCoy was amazed. Jocelyn had always been much stronger than that. She was the one who had first taught the muddle-headed Doctor how to breathe in life, taking the good and the bad for all if was worth.  
  
Yet, now her sobs silently shook her body along with her reaction to the cold.   
  
Leonard buried his resentment, hurt, pain, and anger, for the moment and knelt down to hold her in his arms to calm her shaking. She didn't acknowledge his presence, but after a second or two her crying stopped.   
  
He decided it was time to tell her.   
  
"They will separate us. I don't know exactly what is going to happen, but with Jim Kirk as a friend I have seen to many cases of intrigue to know that this is not a good situation."  
  
"I wont go, Leonard, this is not right. They can't do with us as they see fit."  
  
"This isn't a game Jocelyn, were prisoners, they can do as they damn well please."  
  
"But Federation Law..."  
  
"It wont protect us here, from these people."  
  
Jocelyn realized finally, what McCoy had known the moment the sun went down. They REALLY were going to die. The Enterprise, and salvation, was gone.  
  
"Were all alone."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"His tone was tender. He was somewhat used to this situation, but there were no vengeful terrorist groups, Klingons, Romulans, shape changers, or Organians on earth. Would she be able to handle something like this?  
  
  
He moved closer and put his arm around her, partly for support, partly for comfort.  
  
"What will they do?"  
  
McCoy had learned long ago that a good Doctor told a suffering patient the worst right away. More time to cope meant that possibly there was more time to live.  
  
"I'll be honest, Jos, People like these don't keep witnesses to their atrocities alive for very long. That is why it is imperative that you escape as soon as you can."   
  
"Where would we go?"  
  
There is a small federation base north of this town that Spock unearthed just as we were coming into this system, and it wouldn't be we Jos, they aren't going to give me a chance to escape."  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
  
McCoy grimaced. "You heard him, I'm valuable. They won't kill me until they find out whatever they want to know, or until the Enterprise gives into their demands. That's not likely, so I'll have some time to think of something."  
  
  
"How can you stand it," she whispered pitifully. "Captain Kirk thinks we are dead, we may soon be. If those men out there decide that they don't want to bargain with the Enterprise, we will be killed, and nobody will know how or where! How can you live like this!"  
  
"Like what?" he replied, extremely confused.   
  
"Every day in space you live with the knowledge that if you die, you will die all alone. The people you love will not be by your side. You may even die on a remote planet without anyone knowing it. People will wonder for years whether you are still alive or not.  
  
There was fear and anger in her voice now.  
  
"How can you live on the Enterprise, out in the godforsaken middle of nowhere, and deal with it. Your crazy Leonard McCoy! Just Plain Crazy!"  
  
Leonard took offense to that. Who was she to insult his career choice, much less his sanity?  
  
"FIRST! It wasn't exactly my choice to go into space. You drove me out here, away from earth. What other choices did I have?"  
  
"I don't know, but you could have done it better. Joanna grew up without a father. You could have at least stayed around, ON EARTH."  
  
That one cut deep for McCoy who had never really forgave himself for leaving his daughter.  
  
"What was I to do? Was I to stay around and answer her questions about mommy and daddy? I did the best I could, Jos."  
  
"Every time a ship was lost we had to wonder if it was yours. I had to drag Joanna out from under her bed and stop her from screaming, "I want daddy!" I was the one who waited outside the Starfleet office with her to find out if you had died or not."  
  
"At least I did eventually explain it all to her. You kept beating around the bush with her. Even when she turned eighteen you treated her like she was still three and couldn't understand."  
  
McCoy realized that they were once again using their daughter as fighting ground and changed the subject.  
  
"If I were to die her in space JOCELYN, I would be dying with the best damn bunch of people I know, including my best friends so don't pretend to feel sorry for me."  
  
  
"In case you have forgotten LEONARD! We are about to die right here, NOT ON THE FREAKIN ENTERPRISE. On a stupid planet of mind readers who cant control themselves and their own stupid hateful instincts. I'm gonna die with you, HERE, RIGHT NOW!" DOESN'T that bother you just a bit."  
  
  
McCoy didn't get the chance to answer. A key clicked in to door and it slammed open.   
  
  
  
"SHUT UP YOU CRAZY EARTHERS!"  
  
  
  
The guard took a deep breath and said more calmly.  
  
"You will be interrogated now, healer, then we will bargain with your starship for what we want. I suggest you cooperate, or our interrogator has promised that he will make it so you will never be able to heal again.  
  
"If it is the likes of you I get the chance to heal," snarled McCoy, I may take that opportunity to remove your sorry excuse for a brain, WITHOUT ANISTHESIA!  
  
The guard didn't like that answer much, and McCoy was once again slammed into the wall. Then the guard answered a call from outside the cell, and the two prisoners were once again left alone.  
  
Jocelyn hurried to where Leonard struggled to get to his knees. She held him still and laid his head in her lap until he could see straight.  
  
"What a monster, are you ok? No, of course your not, stupid question. If he comes in her again and tries to do that one more time I'll take that gun of his and ram it up his sorry ass."  
  
Through blurry vision Leonard smiled at her. This was the Jocelyn he liked. He stood up again with her help, and together, they listened to the voices outside the door. The light from the guard's lantern drifted into the cell casting a hellish glow through out the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
She looked hard into his eyes then. His choices were very few. Suddenly she made hers.  
  
  
  
  
The door began to creak open. She grabbed McCoy's neck and kissed him for all she was worth. He responded, and memories from long ago assaulted her mind as they melded together for that one brief moment. Slowly, her body fell against his, seeking the comfort he had always offered.   
  
As their lips parted she spoke the words that had gone unsaid for to long.   
  
"Leonard, it was all my fault. I ruined our life together. Please forgive me, it was..."  
  
Her confession was broken off as she was dragged away from him and out the door. She tried to scream, but a hand clamped it's self effectively over her mouth. Her feet kicked out, but it was no use, her captor was at least twice her size.  
  
/ I was going to tell him I loved him/ She thought in agony / Leonard McCoy was the only man I ever truly cared about, the only man I ever loved with all my heat and soul, and now.... /   
  
She sobbed against the arm that held her as the door shut behind them with a cruel clank.   
  
  
To her horror, a crazed laugh came from inside, followed by a scream of agony that followed her all the way down the corridor.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yes, you can breath now, there is another chapter. After chapter two I wouldn't do that to you again Tavia, now would I?  
  
Yes, I am sinister, but this is getting very fun, wait until you see what I have in store for our favorite spacemen next!" 


	7. Chapter 6: The Dance

Title: Forgiven  
Author: Keridwen  
Disclaimer: yes another flashback. I had NOTHING to do with creating this next scene; I am just retelling it because it is a need-to-know for the rest of the story. Full property rights for this flashback belong to Michael Jan Friedman, (Shadows on the Sun) who was brilliant enough to describe exactly what has been going on at high school dances for thousands of years. Even the cavemen were fighting over girls then. Come to think of that, I think that was all cavemen did, except for hunt, yet then again there wasn't much to do back then, I guess that was how the earth got populated so quickly. That is also why pregnancy rates increase in the years of major power outages today. Hey people get bored. Ok! Digressing major! Star Trek belongs to paramount. If I got a nickel for every time I typed that..............  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Six: The Dance  
  
  
  
  
  
Atlanta Georgia: Twenty Years Earlier  
  
  
  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
"No, not much. With a dermal regenerator, it won't even leave a scar."  
  
"Leonard, Clay Treadway just knocked you on your fanny with the intention of pounding your face in."  
  
"So."  
  
"So, are you sure you don't want to see a Doctor?"  
  
"Jocelyn, my father IS a Doctor."  
  
"Oh, yeah. Forgot."  
  
So, she forgot that one small detail. The events of the last hour had left little room in her mind for clear coherent thought. In one hour she had left Clay, asserting her independence, and making it clear to all men that she was not some pretty wall ornament that they could just put away when they got bored. Then she had, initially to make him jealous of course, danced with another guy, proving to Clay that two could play that game.   
  
Then, half way through the song, she had found her self enjoying the dance, and her new dance partner. He had introduced himself a Leonard McCoy, and had said he was new in town. Son of a Doctor, and that he thought she was an intelligent person.  
  
That was what had initially won her. He though she was intelligent. Not pretty, sexy, cute, or any of the other compliments she usually received. This young man was not interested in leaving to go make out, but in getting to know her better. At least that was what she liked to believe, and he had given her no reason to believe otherwise.   
  
That, AND the fact that he was a really great dancer, had caused her to look with more interest at this shining knight who had come out of nowhere to save her from Clay's evil stare. He led with a strength that was not overpowering, allowing her to set the pace. She had liked that.  
  
Near the end of the song, she had looked into his bright blue eyes and thanked him for such a lovely dance. What he said next took her breath away.   
  
  
  
"Pardon me for being bold, but you are a wonderful dancer. Would you mind dancing just one more with me?"  
  
  
  
  
MIND!  
  
She had found an absolute southern gentleman in Leonard McCoy. Dancing with him again was the only thing left on her mind that mattered.  
  
Unfortunately it never happened.  
  
Clay, realizing that his girl was making a joke out of him by dancing with one of the science geeks, decided to take matters into his own hands. After knocking Leonard flat on his backside he started to drag Jocelyn off the dance floor like a caveman who had just won his prize. She had protested loudly, and had tried to free herself from Clay's gift, but to no avail. Her night would have been over right then.  
  
Except that her dance partner wasn't through. Leonard had jumped up, spun Clay Treadway around, and had knocked him flat on his ass. Talk about giving as good as you got.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Clay could have killed you!" She admonished to her unlikely knight in shining armor. "He's not the Captain of the arena ball team for nothing."  
  
"That doesn't matter, " said Leonard just as angrily, " He could have hurt your too ya know, he's a walking menace to society."  
  
She looked down at the ground. "He has hurt me before. I'm through with him anyway. He can't claim me as some won prize, I'm my own woman."  
  
"You certainly are."  
  
The awe in his voice made her blush. She wasn't used to being treated like a lady; she was beginning to like it.  
  
"Yes," she added again, and moved closer to Leonard, making him nervously back against a tree. She thought that was extremely cute and giggled in response. That surprised her, she rarely giggled in front of anyone. She smiled up at him through the fading light in the courtyard they had escaped to. "I am done with Clay for good." She ran a hand comfortingly up his arm to try to stop him from backing away. He caught her hand in both of his as if it were the most precious jewel on the planet. He then freed one of his hands to lightly touch her face.  
  
"Why me, I'm a nobody."   
  
"Well then, Mr. Nobody, you were my brave knight this evening, and after a damsel in distress has been saved, she usually thanks the knight like this.  
  
And she kissed him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
As I said before, the dance scene comes from Shadows on the Sun. I had my doubts about using it, but for those of you who haven't read it, I needed to tell a little about the background of these two unlikely lovers. I promise that this is the only non-original chapter, I have no death wishes, and I really don't need to be sued right now. 


	8. Chapter 7: Pain

Title: Forgiven  
Author: Keridwen  
Disclaimer: Ok, after re reading my piece a few times I have noticed a few things.   
1. I am very erratic with the conversation between Jocelyn and Leonard. I am still trying to find a better way to convey their constant moods swings when they're fighting. I ask for tips. Flames ok, I already know I need help with this  
2 Also I don't claim to be the expert on divorced people. I have observed a few cases that, for me, have come close to home, but my parents are still happily married, I hope I am hitting it close to the mark. Also I am not making light of divorce, it is a terrible thing, and it had screwed up many of my friends as they were growing up.  
3 It is hard to remember, but these Nilians are Empaths in a way. They do read the emotions of the prisoners during everything that goes on which is why they separated L and J rather quickly at the end of chapter five, I am just not focusing on that right now, so that is why I have only mentioned it a few times. It will come back in this chapter, and at the end to illustrate a minor point.  
  
Ok I'm done for now, I'll give anyone ten federation credits if they can guess who Star Trek belongs to! If you don't know, well, you obviously are new to my stories at least.  
  
P.S. If you hate torture, skip this one.  
You've been warned  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Seven: Pain  
  
  
  
McCoy regained consciousness just as the interrogator shut the door to the cell.   
  
"He isn't talking just yet."  
  
"I don't care what it takes, get it out of him."  
  
McCoy stiffened just as the door shut once again and footsteps walked over to where he lay on the floor. The guard leaned down and whispered into his ear."  
  
"Tell me, tell me what we need to know."  
  
McCoy didn't move.  
  
"I know you are in pain, I can feel it. You also are determined to keep to yourself what you know. I hope you last for a little longer, I have a new toy I am just dying to try out."  
  
  
The interrogators last toy had been a shock stick that had sent waves of electricity through the victim.  
  
  
He grabbed McCoy by the collar and hauled him to his knees. " They tell me you are the healer on your space vessel. Tell me, do you need your hands to do this healing?"  
  
He grabbed one of McCoy's hands and held it against the floor.  
  
"I hope so, I hope you enjoy helping others.   
  
He took his booted foot and slammed it down on the hand. He smiled in satisfaction as he felt bones crunch, and the wave of pain that came from his victim.   
  
"I am taking away everything you enjoy, Healer."  
  
"You can't control me through torture," whispered McCoy through gritted teeth and pain filled gasps.  
  
"Oh yes I can, I am excellent at what I do. I can control you through all aspects of your mind. I can break your body."  
  
Another boot on the other hand.  
  
"And your mind. Your feel pain and I know you feel it, so no amount of willpower keeps your desires away from me."  
  
"Oh yes, and I also control your soul."  
  
A blast from and energy weapon came through the window.   
  
"That is how I control your soul. That was the execution of your companion. I hope you didn't care for her too much."  
  
"You a... are a "  
  
  
"I am what? I am sure you were just about to call me a very nasty name; I can feel it beginning in your heart. You hate me, but you also despair. This despair will be your undoing Doctor. Your companion is gone and you shall soon follow."  
  
  
He dropped McCoy on the floor again and asked, "Now TELL ME, where is the federation base. We know it is on our planet. Tell me quickly!"  
  
The Doctor remained silent.  
  
The guard kicked him in disgust and stepped outside again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The light in the cell faded, leaving McCoy on the floor of the damp cell. His breathing remained shallow, and slowly he tried to move. The words of the interrogator came back with stinging clarity.  
  
/He'll make it so you can never heal again/  
  
He sat up carefully, not moving his now broken and useless fingers. They were blissfully numb and swollen, so the pain wasn't enough to make him pass out.  
  
Without the use of his fingers he had no hope of escape. He had only one weapon left to him, and ironically, it was the interrogator himself who had given it to him.   
  
/ This despair will be your undoing, Doctor/  
  
Despair was the key. Despair would keep him alive. As long as he was on the brink of despair, he had a chance. He knew he had a chance because the interrogator had also told him something else.   
  
Jocelyn was alive.  
  
He knew her; she wouldn't just let anyone drag her off to be shot.  
They would have to go through hell first.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well Duh folks, what is the number one rule of Star Trek?   
  
  
  
No, not that ew, I can't believe you would think of such a thing!  
  
  
  
#1 rule: main characters DON"T DIE.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
EVER  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
NEVER  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
ESPECIALLY NOT VULCANS  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
ONLY PEOPLE IN RED SHIRTS  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
OK now that that is clear, next chapter. 


	9. Chapter 8: Escape

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Now it's two in the morning, and we are here to observe an interesting nocturnal creature called the Obsessive Trekkie Writer. These creatures can be carnivorous or herbivorous depending on where they are found. They only come out at night although not for taboo rituals like some in their society. An odd phenomenon called inspiration hits them at this crazy time of night and they are driven to their computers to write fan fiction until the wee hours of the morning. Silently now! Here is one in her natural habitat. Do not be afraid, they don't bite. Please no flash cameras. We do not want to break her concentration. Ok, now everybody look.  
  
OOOOOOOOOHhh! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! COOOOOOOOOL!  
  
Star Trek Belongs to others less crazy than I.  
  
  
  
Although not by much.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Eight: ESCAPE  
  
Jon'oor, the rebel in charge of dispensing with the demon lady, was having a rough time of it. She kicked, screamed, and bit his hand when he tried to silence her. She continually twisted around in his arms making it impossible for him to get a good grip on her.  
  
"Stop moving!" he shouted, "You only make it worse for yourself!"  
  
She ignored him and continued on with her struggling. Jon'oor sighed and shuffled his burden in his arms in order to get a better grip. He was looking forward to putting a screaming pulse of energy through her once they got out into the courtyard. His job was usually a hard a frustrating one, but on occasions it became quite pleasurable.  
  
Suddenly the writhing woman in his arms became completely still. She began to slide down to the floor once again and he had to put her on the ground in order to regain his sense of balance. Now he would have to carry her over his shoulder. Grumbling he grabbed her arms and started to lift her again. It was no fun killing an unconscious victim.  
  
As quick as a bird, the woman leaped up and punched him directly in the center of his face. Her little fist came at him with such fury that he actually saw stars. Reeling, he tried to decide which one of the three women he now saw was the real one. Before he could make his choice, all three simultaneously kicked him in the groin. He fell back against a sharp rock in the floor and the room grew dark.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jocelyn's first impulse was to run. The agonized scream she had heard still rung in her ears, and a rock of fear was still lodged in her stomach, tying it up into a bunch of knots.  
  
"You have to take control." She said to herself in a whisper, " come on Jocelyn, think, damnit! Oh hell I can't do this! I'm a civilian not a commando." She took a deep breath. What would a Starfleet person do? She thought to herself.  
  
She looked down at the guard.  
  
(Ok, first I liberate a weapon from this bozo)  
  
She knelt down and took the energy weapon from his side. It turned out to be a simple device, and after almost shooting her self in the foot, she found out how to work it. As a precaution she set it to stun only.  
  
(Now, I cover my tracks)  
  
Jocelyn dragged his body into the corner, nearer to the deepest shadows of the hall. With any luck, they wouldn't find him till morning.  
  
(Now, to get outta here)  
  
The guard had obviously intended to dispose of her execution style outside. She opened the door to the courtyard slowly and peeped out. There was one more Nillian out there, waiting with weapon drawn. He had his back to her and seemed to be talking on a communications device of some sort.  
  
(Now is my chance. Across to the gate is the street, and freedom. I can get to the federation base; tell them about Leonard, I can save him!)  
  
She took one step out into the courtyard and froze. The guard was looking around him, as if searching for something. Jocelyn kicked herself mentally, she had totally forgotten about the Nilians empathic powers. He had sensed her presence by the fear and excitement running through her mind. Before he could spot her, she downed him with one burst from the energy weapon.  
  
(Now I gotta move and fast. I just hope that the others think that they just killed me. It might buy a little time before they send out the dogs.)  
  
  
  
From the gate in the side of the structure, a large estate of one of the wealthier Nilians of Le' gin to be precise, she came out on to an empty street. Now came the hardest part of all she realized; clearing her mind of all emotion for the amount of time it would take her to reach open land. If she couldn't she would wake up every Nilians sleeping in every structure she passed.  
  
(Nothing like a four alarm fire of emotion to wake one up at two in the morning)  
  
Jocelyn took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and concentrated. 


	10. Chapter 9: The Deal

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount: until the government crashes in to investigate the CEO, in which case, I will form my own company and personally buy it from them so they can pay legal bills and what not- Here she comes again -sorry for the delays folks. Blame my boss.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Nine: UNDERCOVER  
  
USS Enterprise  
  
"You must withdraw from Nilana, Captain Kirk, that is just the way it goes some times, I can't go against Starfleet policy."  
  
Kirk leveled his gaze at the screen in front of him and prepared to play his trump card.  
  
"Funny, I thought having a covert base of operations on a Non Federation Member Planet was against Starfleet policy. As well as being against Federation law."  
  
There. Jim Kirk was completely out of cards to play, but he sure had given it a good fight. Now, if Fitzpatrick didn't give him the permission to stay, well he would just have to stay anyway. Against orders.  
  
He hoped it wouldn't come to that.  
  
But he wasn't about to leave Nilana without seeing it through. He owed Joanna at least that much.  
  
On the screen Admiral Fitzpatrick's face went pale.  
  
"How do you know about that?"  
  
Before Kirk could reply, Fitzpatrick sighed with resignation.  
  
"Never mind, I know. Tell your first officer he's to damned smart for Starfleet!"  
  
Kirk grinned weakly at Spock who raised an eyebrow in return.  
  
"Kirk, I will grant you leave to see this through to the end, if you promise you wont speak a word about this to anyone. That goes for your people as well. The covert Federation base on Nilana is considered classified information.. This means I will fry your butt, Kirk if anyone, especially the Nilians find out about the base." Understood?"  
  
"Completely, sir."  
  
The transmission was cut.  
  
"Mr. Spock, meet me in the transporter room in two hours, it's time we paid this base a little social call."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Two hours later.  
  
Kirk met Spock coming into the transporter room. He carried two gray knee length tunics and a short Indian shaped head wrap. Previously they had both been to sickbay for some quick cosmetic surgery and makeup.  
  
-Earlier-  
  
The Nilians were humanoid- thank God- or else he and Spock would have had to enter the base commando style.  
  
All that was needed to make the Captain and the First officer into natives was an injection of red pigmentation under the skin, orange colored contacts, and an injection into the lobes of their ears to enlarge them to the size of fully mature Nilian males. This way, they could travel through the town and gather information about the attack as they went.  
  
"Why don't you just beam down to the base?" asked Christine Chapel while trying to synthesize a pair of contacts for the Captain without Retinlax 5. "Aren't they the good guys? Why all this sneaking around?"  
  
"Because we are dealing with Federation special forces, who no doubt have the best technology around. It is Mr. Spock's guess that they are protected by a force three beam shield."  
  
"Well, why don't you just ask them to lower it?"  
  
"As you know, we have been given permission from admiral Fitzpatrick to see this through to the end, but ONLY from him. If we contact a federation outpost here from the ship, manned by federation special forces, they will undoubtedly contact their superiors before letting us in. I don't want to take the chance that Chief Admiral Nogura or even the President of the Federation will over rule Admiral Fitzpatrick and recall the Enterprise.  
  
"Oh, I see," said the nurse as she handed him his contacts. "So to maintain the element of surprise you walk up and knock on their front door."  
  
"Essentially, " said Spock who was still waiting for his own treatment to finish. It was very hard to look at the Vulcan with out smiling. His flame red skin gave his pointed ears a distinctly devilish quality."  
  
"We hope that they will be caught off guard long enough for us to discover how much data they have accumulated about the last three days."  
  
"Well that's fine gentleman, " said Chapel with reserve, "but what about the Nilians telepathic talents?"  
  
She was fishing for the rest of their plan. The Captain and Mr. Spock would not be so foolish to jump into a situation with out a very good one.  
  
"You may look like the locals, but you sure don't think like them."  
  
"Spock is able to form his thoughts into the appropriate patterns for disguise. The Captain said as he surveyed his transformation in a mirror.  
  
"And You?"  
  
"I have taken care of that problem, Nurse Chapel, now will you please excuse us for a moment?"  
  
She left sickbay not at all reassured.  
  
As the door slid shut, the faintest whisper drifted through.  
  
My mind to yours- - My thoughts to yours-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Back in the transporter room-  
  
Kirk smiled at having a definite course of action to take. Finally he was going to get some answers, and maybe even some peace over his friend's death?  
  
No, that was never to be. Answers were going to make shot term life livable again. Long term, however, was never going to be the same.  
  
Spock looked at him.  
  
(As Captain of the Enterprise you can't afford to have friends, Jim. Just consider me your friendly country doctor and Spock a living breathing computer)  
  
How right McCoy had been.  
  
Both men did not say a word as the transporter chief prepared to beam them down.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Waugh, sorry Tavia and rest. I noticed the upload on the site came back before I expected it to. nofair you all got a jump start on me. Well, it's not that my next few chapters don't exist yet, as a matter of fact, there is a whole note book full of them almost up to the end - my traditional kick for pen and paper ya know- anyway, I am not as fast of a typer as I would like to be but I assure you I am burning the midnight oil for ya.  
  
Although other than in the eastern time zone it would be early evening for all you other American readers. (including Canadians - you guys rule!) In the wee hours of the morning for the British and such.  
  
Daylight hours for all you other folks, and don't even get me started on the lower half of our terrestrial ball. I have enough problems remembering that you crazy people are having winter when we are having summer. 


	11. Chapter 10: Mind Meld

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Aah that feels better. Back into the old groove of things. Star Trek belongs to Paramount, although I give them no creative credit for this lil ol fic. ( That goes to MJF and Keridwen) P.S. Plato was a smart guy who was really smart but now he's dead. Play- dough is stuff that was once good to eat. Pluto is a planet and cartoon dog. Don't get them confused  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Ten: Thoughts Not My Own  
  
Now Kirk stood in full costume in the center of Le' Gins main market place. The debris from the blast had been cleared away along time ago, but the black scorch marks still marred the great front steps.  
  
Kirk was having a difficult time remembering who he was. On the surface of his mind swam thoughts about today's potential trade at the market. On the surface he was a simple Nilian farmer, worried about the pressures of trading for profit on a suffering market economy.  
  
Deeper down, near the core of his identity was James Kirk, the Starship Captain. Most of the knowledge of that identity was gone for the moment, hidden away from the prying thoughts of the Nilians.  
  
Only one thing was important to the subconscious identity known as James Kirk.  
  
(I must follow Spock. Through the Town.)  
  
From outside his mind came parts of conversations from around him.  
  
"Five yards of the finest Tinisi cloth, yours for one durmak!"  
  
He passed yards of various products being sold.  
  
(I must follow Spock, he knows the way.)  
  
"Off world good's, get em here first"  
  
"Sir, what are you asking for the white one?"  
  
"Keep your living space clean with the M1 household cleaning module."  
  
(Follow Spock, he knows the way, he'll get me to the base.)  
  
"Try this, the Terran's call it coffee. Remarkable stuff!"  
  
"I saw you take my hat, now give it back!"  
  
"Aw, You only wear this silly thing because that girl thought it made you look handsome."  
  
"Do not."  
  
"Do too."  
  
(Follow Spock, outside of the city, I'll get my answers.)  
  
"Can you get me off planet, I have had it up to here with these political fights."  
  
"Yeah, and I know a great race who would love to adopt you, their called Klingons."  
  
Verrrry Funny!"  
  
(Follow Spock, I'll get my answers. I'll know why .)  
  
"All the Bones!"  
  
Kirk stopped short, almost giving himself away. A peculiar conversation he was catching from behind a transparent information screen was breaking through the wall of mind defenses Spock had so carefully set in place. In a few more minutes he would be exposed, but he could not tear his concentration away from the conversation.  
  
Spock pulled him to the side and crouched down behind a slider bearing a rack of fresh goods. He placed his had on the side of Kirks face, and the defenses were altered so Kirk could hear the conversation with out giving himself away. A small signal from Spock's mind came floating through Kirk's consciousness.  
  
(You are a most determined person.)  
  
They both began to listen.  
  
"You are a sick S.O.B, you know that. I can't believe you broke all the bones in his hands."  
  
"Hey I take my job seriously."  
  
"And he still didn't tell you where the Federation Outpost is?"  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow, so much for keeping the information about the base from the Nilians.  
  
"No, I think he may not know, I mean this batch of Federation people just arrived three days ago."  
  
"Right, and I am the Almighty Sun god! He knows all right, he's a Commander on a Federation Starship. You don't get to that rank without being privy to some private information."  
  
"Yeah, but don't forget he is also a physician. Do you tell your physician top military secrets? No, I didn't think so."  
  
A wave of anger so uncontrollable washed over Kirk it completely broke Spock's hold over his mind.  
  
"Hey, Shouted the first voice, "Did you hear/sense that?"  
  
"Yeah, over there!"  
  
Mercifully a hand came down on the junction between his shoulder and neck and he thought no more.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
HeHeHeHeEh H ack Hack Cough Sputter! OOOOOOOOOOK that was fun, Now we have one pissed off Captain of the Enterprise in the picture. Thank god Spock is a quick thinker, eh. I keep wondering, however, what Cid from FFX would do to these guys? Probably find an airship with a lot of machina and missiles, and well you know. HeHeHe. 


	12. Chapter 11: Dreams

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Now we zoom back to our damsel in distress (who doesn't belong to me, neither does Star Trek by the way). This Chapter is very Very VERY strange. You have been warned; it's a tough reader. A lot of sub conscious thought and flashbacks. Try to keep up. Review if ya don't understand, and I will try to explain via my review board.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Eleven: Dreams  
  
  
  
"Jocelyn Darnell? Can you hear me?"  
  
(A strange voice is calling me)  
  
"Ms. Darnell, are you awake?"  
  
(They speak English, maybe they can help me!)  
  
" I don't think she is ready to wake up yet."  
  
"Leonard!"  
  
Jocelyn awoke with a start. A pair of strong arms restrained her and she began to weakly struggle against them. She didn't want to be taken prisoner again.  
  
"Ms. Darnell, Please stop struggling!"  
  
She opened her eyes.  
  
White Lab coats were all around her and she was on a table of some sorts. A woman entered the room, and moved to a corner out of sight. She had an air of authority about her. Finally, thought Jocelyn, someone who could help.  
  
"Please listen to me!"  
  
"Someone please sedate her!"  
  
"NO, you must. Please listen to me!"  
  
But she was already beginning to feel sleepy again.  
  
"No, Leonard, ."  
  
The voices grew distant, as if they were traveling to her over some great distance. The lowered her back down onto the bed and she had no strength left to fight them.  
  
"Will she remember any of this, Doctor Whitefield?"  
  
"I doubt it. If she does, we can always alter that later."  
  
"Will we find out what happened to her?"  
  
"Oh yes, even though this drug is experimental, it had had high praise. They first tried it on the Tantalus colony to find out what events in a persons life made him or her go criminally insane. Finding out the events of the last few days should be easy."  
  
"Will it hurt her?"  
  
"No, and it is much more effective than having Sotek perform a mind meld. Besides, he always gets sour when he has to do it, and I don't want a moody sour Vulcan on my hands. This way we will see exactly what she saw."  
  
"Ok, lets do it."  
  
Jocelyn heard no more. She thought that they had left her alone again. And then she began to dream.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A house in Northern Georgia)  
  
"Mother, I won't have this. I love Leonard, and I am marrying him."  
  
"You would go against your fathers wishes!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh Jocelyn, why do you have to be so difficult? Why can't you just marry Clay Treadway? You would be happy, your Father could close that big business deal with Angelina Treadway, we could show our selves in public without having to explain to everyone."  
  
"EXPLAIN that my husband is just the son of the lowly local Doctor."  
  
"Now, Jocelyn, you know that your father highly respect those in the medical profession, and."  
  
"AND THEIR MONEY? Forget it Mom, I know exactly why you disapprove of him. It's because his Grandfather stooped do low as to help a lost Klingon in need. He pushed aside all the 'good' advice of his colleagues and tried his hardest to heal him long enough for him to return home! All of earth was scandalized!  
  
"Not scandalized, dear.."  
  
"Whatever, I am still marrying Leonard. He has a kind heart. He inherited it from his Grandfather, you know."  
  
"Enough of this Jocelyn! You will not defy your father. You will not tear this families good name to shreds!"  
  
I AM MARRYING LEONARD!"  
  
(Later - In an apartment in Atlanta)  
  
  
  
"Leonard?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hey, Bonehead!"  
  
"What is it Jocelyn, can't you see I am studying!"  
  
"I just wanted a moment of your time, I am your wife after all."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Oh, You don't care!"  
  
(Sobbing - A door slams)  
  
"Now stop this Jocelyn, you know I have mid-terms next week. Now, what was so all fired up important that it couldn't wait!"  
  
"Oh Go Away! I HATE you!"  
  
"Jocelyn!"  
  
"No, I really do! Even if I was to come in to tell you I am DYING, you wouldn't care, you and your stupid studies."  
  
"Dying?"  
  
"Yeah Dying. Of a rear disease that isn't found in any of your stupid study books or med files. That would show you!"  
  
(Pounding on a door)  
  
"Jocelyn open up, Damnit! Who says your dying!"  
  
(Door opens)  
  
"What would you care anyway."  
  
"YOU CAN"T DIE!"  
  
"Oh stop shouting. Do you want the neighbors complaining again?"  
  
"I can't loose you! Don't worry, we will do something. Oh gods! What am I going to do!"  
  
(More sobs)  
  
"Don't you understand, this is serious? (Groan) Now your parents really will kill me. Come on, get you coat, we are going to the hospital."  
  
"Oh Leonard!"  
  
"Do you think studying is more important than you. Oh God! Jocelyn, I can't live with out you, do you understand me!"  
  
(Giggling) "My knight in shining armor!"  
  
"Oh Hell! What could possibly be funny at a time like this."  
  
"I'm not dying, silly."  
  
"Your not!"  
  
"No, Leonard, I love you to much to die."  
  
"But if your not dying."  
  
"Leonard, I'm not dying...I'm Pregnant!"  
  
  
  
  
  
(Five years later - a house in the North Atlanta suburbs)  
  
Neither of them knew exactly when it all went wrong.  
  
Yet on that day, their lives changed forever.  
  
  
  
His eyes were what hurt her the most. There she stood with all her lies and secrets blatantly displayed before him, and she had the gall to ask him why he had come home so early. It was then that the life sparked out of his beautiful blue eyes.  
  
It was more than apparent why he had come home. The flowers in his hands said it all.  
  
Jocelyn found out that day that murder was not the worst sin in the world. When you kill someone, when you take their life, they can be at peace in the end.  
  
Yet, when you crush someone's soul, you condemn them to a life of pain and an eternity of anguish. It would be better to stab them in the heart.  
  
When Leonard came home from work early that day, Jocelyn crushed his soul.  
  
As she tried to pull herself together, she saw the flowers slowly drop to the floor. Like the ashes that had been their marriage, or the shattered glass that was now their trust and love.  
  
Jocelyn learned something else that day. Something came to her as she cried after her husband as he ran out the door.  
  
She learned that her marriage could have never failed on it's own. Like candle wax it had drooped, but the most important part, their love, had still been burning bright.  
  
Until that day.  
  
Now she had killed that as well, along with any hopes of resuscitating their marriage. She had shattered it with one blow.  
  
She ran after him with tears streaming down her face. She screamed for him to stop.  
  
She screamed!  
  
And then she slept and dreamed no more. 


	13. Chapter 12: Prayers

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: this chapter should be easier. It took a lot of thought. Poetic license at the end was inspired from the Bible and the basis for my story comes from Michael Jan Friedman's book "Shadows on the Sun" and Star Trek belongs to Paramount, ARUGH, So what does that leave me!? A LOT OF FUN!  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Twelve: Prayers  
  
  
  
The morning was drawing near, and Leonard knew he didn't have much time. He still lay as he has fallen, in the corner of the dirty Nilian prison cell, as the first rays of morning light came in through the bars of the window. Since his last encounter with the very unpleasant interrogator he had drifted in and out of unconsciousness. His head pounded with pain and blood from a cut on his forehead ran into his eyes. His breathing was labored, and the rest of his body was going numb.  
  
"Shit."  
  
He had not been the greatest person. He wasn't even in very good with the Almighty One if past sins counted for anything. Yet aside from his well- acknowledged imperfect human nature, he had always fought death. He had wanted to take pain and suffering away and he had fought all his life to make that happen. Each step took him a little bit further until finally he had started to think of himself first and foremost as a Doctor, not a whatever. Not a human being who just stood by and watched others suffer.  
  
What had he sacrificed for that power?  
  
He was a Doctor, not a father.  
  
  
  
He could see his daughter's eyes as he put her to bed that last night he saw her. She smiled at him and asked for a prayer before bed.  
  
  
  
. . . . . . . . . .  
  
Bedtime...  
  
"Well, you know Daddy is not very good at praying, Joanna."  
  
"You should ask Mommy, then, she does it pretty good!"  
  
"Well, why don't you tell me what Mommy does."  
  
"OK! Daddy."  
  
She had crawled up on her knees and taken his hands and had folded them together. He had sat there while she tried to remember what came next.  
  
"First, you say, hello."  
  
"Does it matter what language? Do I have to say it out loud?"  
  
Joanna puckered her brow with concentration.  
  
"No, Daddy, God is kinda like a Vulcan. He knows what is in our heads. I suppose it is like knowing how a machine works because you put it together. That is how God knows us."  
  
"Ok, I suppose that makes sense."  
  
"Now close your eyes Daddy, and don't peek!"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Now say hello."  
  
"Um, hello God. Now what?"  
  
"Now you gotta spill your heart. All of it, because God likes to listen. Mommy says we have to tell him everything that is bad and good."  
  
"Well, what do you know that is good?"  
  
"I picked up all my things and I remembered to turn my room computer off."  
  
"Well, tell him that."  
  
"I just did, silly!"  
  
"Well then, tell him about the bad."  
  
"Well. Um, Daddy, you don't know this, but don't get to mad because I am explaining myself now and God is listin'n."  
  
"Tell him, Joanna, I promise."  
  
"God, I was mouthy to Mommy today, an I made her cry cus I'm a frusteratin little one and I often don't know much better, but I promise to know better really soon."  
  
Joanna peeked one eye to make sure her daddy wasn't getting to mad.  
  
"And I broke a plate because I wanted a snack and I didn't wait and I tried to use the replicator all by myself and I am sorry,. cause I could have been fried to little bits if Mommy hadn't caught me, and . and I was soo Baad."  
  
Joanna broke into sobs and fell into her father's arms. Leonard was aware of the replicator incident. I was the whole reason Jos had gone to bed early, leaving him to put Joanna to sleep. He kissed the top of her head softly.  
  
"It's ok, honey. You confessed yourself now. Don't you feel just a little bit better?"  
  
"Yesss, Daddy!" the four year old hiccupped.  
  
"Now how do we end a prayer, Joanna?"  
  
"We ask for protection, cause there are things that happen that we can't explain, not even a Vulcan nor even the Federation President, and we need to know that we are safe."  
  
"Very good."  
  
Joanna moves back toward her pillow and allowed her father to pull up the blankets around her.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Can you fix anybody?"  
  
"No, sweety. There are some things not even a Doctor can fix."  
  
"Then how come you try to fix everybody?"  
  
"Because I don't like to see people hurt."  
  
"But if some peoples are going to die anyway, how come you try to fix them."  
  
"Because I hope that someday we might know something that we do not know now. Then, with hope, we try to fix the unfixable with new technology and scientific knowledge"  
  
"Oh. Daddy?"  
  
"Yes, Joanna, Last question."  
  
"Ok, where does hope come from."  
  
Leonard didn't have a good answer for that one. Hope surly didn't come from humans, or any known sentient life. If it did, the laws of nature would have taken over and hope would have died.  
  
So, against his strictly scientific nature, he gave her the only answer he could give.  
  
"Hope comes from God."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Back in the cell)  
  
There was the sound of keys in the door.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I lift up my eyes to the hills.  
  
From whence does my help come?  
  
My help comes from the Lord,  
  
Who made heaven and earth."  
  
Psalm 121: 1,2  
  
"My eyes search the hills.  
  
And far beyond to the stars.  
  
As far as I see, Man someday may be.  
  
The shimmering stars, a pleasure to see.  
  
The wonders of the universe are for us to explore.  
  
These wonders are a gift I adore.  
  
My help comes from the Lord.  
  
Whose word my ears are yet to young to understand.  
  
The oldest man is but the youngest dew drop fallen on the sand.  
  
He made this all for me to see,  
  
For us to just sit here and be,  
  
And only asks one thing from me,  
  
How can I sit here and not believe?"  
  
Keridwen-copyright 2002 Please ask to use. Feel free to believe  
  
And to review of course! (HeHe!) 


	14. Chapter 13: Mrs Captain Takes Some Actio...

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Oohh I feel Guilty now. Bad author Bad author. How dare you write cliffhangers and keep these poor souls in turmoil. Well, I just don't know, Maybe I have an evil streak that comes out at three in the morning. Also I am writing another fic on the side for Final Fantasy VIII, sorry, split interest. That one is only coming up AFTER I have finished Forgiven, however, so don't despair. Star Trek and paramount, that's all I gotta say.  
  
  
  
Chapter Fourteen: Mrs. Captain Takes Some Action  
  
  
  
"You are breaking up, Mr. Spock, I can't hear you! Can you boost your transmission?"  
  
Lt. Uhura was having a very exciting shift. After the Captain and Mr. Spock had beamed down, circumstances had led to her being left the conn. Now she was filtering messages from Mr. Spock, while trying to run the ship at the same time. She thought is was the most fun she'd had in a long time.  
  
"Approaching base, Captain is.... Are moving in anyway.....will contact you. ..later. Spock out."  
  
The message died before Uhura could reply, but she had gotten the jyst of what Mr. Spock had been trying to say. She settled back and tried to relax. It wasn't as if this happened on every mission that the Enterprise was assigned to. Just most of them. Silently she let her thoughts drift back to the landing party. She hadn't known any of them except for Dr. McCoy, but that alone was enough to bring small tears to her eyes. Although he was just the ship's Doctor, he would be missed on the bridge just as much as in the sickbay. McCoy had always made it his prerogative to watch the Captain like a hawk in intense situations. Uhura figured that he thought that if he could only keep the Captain alive and sane, the rest of them would survive as well. Often he was right.  
  
"Lieutenant!" came a call from the replacement comm. officer, a sharp young woman named Katalina Ortega, "We are receiving a transmission from the planet!"  
  
"Is it the Captain?"  
  
"No mam, but it is from one of our communicators."  
  
"And it isn't from the Captain or Mr. Spock?"  
  
"No, mam, it's a gentleman claiming to represent a powerful faction of a group called the free thinkers of Nilana. He demands to speak to the commander of the Enterprise."  
  
"Oh, I see. Put him on."  
  
The screen flickered, and the face of a rather sour looking Nilian appeared. He held one of the Enterprises Communicators in his hand and a rather nasty looking shock weapon in the other. He was in a non-descript room with stonewalls, a dirt floor and a barred window at the top.  
  
"Are you the commander of the space vessel now orbiting our planet," He spoke in heavily accented Standard English?"  
  
Uhura didn't like his tone and decided to let him know that right off."  
  
"Dasson ir renk nor un tal menekanutna!"  
  
The Nilana blinked and stepped back.  
  
"You speak our language?"  
  
"Obviously, now what do you want, you are wasting my time."  
  
The man gathered his composure, but he still looked a little shocked.  
  
"We are a very powerful force on our planet, and we do not tolerate interference of outsiders. We demand to know the location of your secret base of operations."  
  
"On the outside Uhura showed no reaction, but inwardly she was cringing. /So much for the Nilians not finding out about the base, she thought/  
  
"I protest, sir, the Federation doesn't use such deceitful ways of getting information." She stated, "If we wanted information about your planet and the people, we would just ask for it."  
  
"That is not what I know. I wish to speak to the commander of the vessel, so you may tell him to come out from hiding behind a female."  
  
Uhura turned on her special reserve of indignation for this clown.  
  
"You are SPEAKING to the Captain, Mister, and unless you do not want me to trace your signal and blow you out of the sky, I would show a little more restraint if I where you!"  
  
"Oh, I doubt you would want to do that, Captain, especially if you want your physician back.  
  
The Nilian stepped back to reveal the crumpled form of a man in the background. The figure was barely recognizable. The blue medical uniform was so streaked with dirt that it looked black. The face was bruise almost out of proportion, and the arms were pulled up to his sides, concealing painfully swollen hands.  
  
A small gasp was all that Uhura would let herself show.  
  
The Nilian charged up the shock stick and rammed it against the prisoners back.  
  
"Speak for your friends, Physician," he ordered as McCoy twisted in pain.  
  
The only response he got was a weak, "Go to hell!"  
  
Uhura heard it and cheered inside. She knew the Doctor was letting her know that he wasn't done for yet. That fact gave her a little leeway time in figuring out what to do.  
  
He wasn't dead. She had a flash of brilliance than and decided to take matters into her own hands.  
  
"Kidnapping of Federation personnel is a criminal offense, and believe me, Mister, you will be punished for it. Captain out."  
  
She gave the sign to cut the transmission and turned to Lt. Ortega.  
  
"Kati, did you get a fix on this clown."  
  
"Yes Mam, he is centered underground in the city of Le'Gin. There are no beam shields, and not many civilians concentrated in that area, according to our last scan. It seems that these resistance members have found themselves the perfect deserted hideaway."  
  
"Well it wont be deserted for long. Kati signal Sulu and Chekov and tell them we are going to move ahead of schedule and that the objective has changed. Brief them on my conversation, and tell them to leave as soon as their ready."  
  
"Aye Aye, mam!"  
  
Uhura called down to engineering next. The excitement in the room from the other officers flowed through her.  
  
Scotty, how are those psionic shields coming.  
  
"They're almost done now lass. With these new additions, not only will those little buggers not be able to read us, they will also not be able to read anybody else. From what the Captain has told me about their fighting styles, these little devices will bring about mass confusion long o nuf fer Chekov and Sulu to get out of what ever trouble they may get into.  
  
"Great, Scotty, sent them right up, Sulu is leaving as soon as possible."  
  
"Did the Captain find out who ever was behind the bombin then?"  
  
"No, Scotty, they still haven't reached the base, but the situation had changed, you had better meet me on the bridge."  
  
"Alright, Scott out."  
  
Uhura folded her hands and looked back ad the planet in the center of the main view screen. She was sure Scott would support her decision. She was also sure that she had done exactly what the Captain would have wanted her to do.  
  
Not only were the crew of the Enterprise going to get their answers, they were also going to get their Doctor back as well. Not even a planet of mind readers could commit the atrocity of attacking one of their own and expect to come away clean.  
  
Another thing was also sure in her mind. Now that the Nilians knew the Federation had been spying on them and monitoring their development, relations with the planet Nilana would never be the same again. Uhura couldn't say she was sorry however. People should not have to grow up on a world with the feeling that they were constantly being watched, like some experiment in a test tube. It was not right.  
  
"Transporter room to bridge."  
  
"Bridge here."  
  
"We are ready to beam down to the planet, Uhura."  
  
"Ok, boys, do you look the part?"  
  
"Oh yes, both Chekov and I look like mascots from the Florida Orange fair."  
  
"It is not so bad weally, Sulu looks worse than I do."  
  
"Uhura giggled as she gave them permission to beam down. After seeing the Captains new look she could just imagine what one excited Oriental and one moody Russian would look like as Nilians.  
  
"Godspeed gentlemen."  
  
Now if only they could reach the Captain.....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Arugh I did it again, didn't I. Sorry, I think it's a sickness really. I'll try to post the next one tomorrow. 


	15. Chapter 14: Logic Prowls Around

Author: Keridwen Title: Forgiven Disclaimer: Well it is only midnight so nothing extreme here. I am just continuing with everyone's favorite Captain courageous. Tavia, I know you didn't have much luck, but I would also like to meet Rick Berman in person, frankly I think I would make a good starship Captain, human of course, I couldn't take all that makeup, SSOOOOOOOOO here goes - I OWN Star Trek (looks around to see if anyone is watching) Um ok I go write now.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Fifteen: Logic Prowls Around  
  
Spock calculated that there would be a 93.6 percent chance that they would be contacted when they reached the bases outer perimeter. The scientists on the inside could hardly help but notice a Vulcan, who looked like a Nilian, carrying an unconscious human, who also looked very native, walking up to the old farm that concealed them as Captain Kirk would put it, 'As if they owned the place'.  
  
He was very surprised when no notice was taken at their appearance. He walked up to the farmhouse and opened the door a crack. It looked deserted, but Spock knew that there would be no visible signs that this was anything but an old farmhouse above ground. They had to get down below the surface to the lab.  
  
He set the captain down on what looked to be a couch of some sorts, and checked his pulse. He would be waking up in a minute so Spock had to hurry. Below ground the Captains intense emotions could not be felt by anyone on the surface.  
  
Spock himself was having trouble maintaining his own sense of logic, and that disturbed him greatly. He had carried the Captain away before they had been discovered, but it was not the Captains own emotions that had betrayed them.  
  
It had been his own.  
  
They had been suppressed quickly, of course. He had maintained supreme control as they had traveled through the rest of the city unnoticed. Yet, his loss of control troubled him.  
  
Now that they were out of discovery for the moment, Spock took time to diagnose what he had felt. He found that when his erratic human side became apparent, diagnosis for better understanding was a very good start for eradicating the intense feelings from his being.  
  
He sat down and recalled what the Nilian had said. Apparently doctor McCoy was alive, and was being tortured for whatever he knew about the Federation base, which was substantial. McCoy had been there when Spock had reported his findings to Captain Kirk in detail. Spock supposed that the intense feeling he had felt was fear that the Doctor, no matter how well Starfleet had trained him, would give up the information. Such news would bring intense outcry, not only on Nilana, but on other worlds of the Federation as well.  
  
Yet, it had not been fear, although fear would have been the logical reaction. Emotions weren't logical, however, and Spock realized that he could not discover what he felt as if it were a mathematics equation to be puzzled out. So he meditated, and let the feeling surface again. He needed to identify it, understand it. As he meditated, memories made themselves present in his mind.  
  
  
  
(Six months earlier)  
  
Pain, that was all that Spock of Vulcan knew. Intense, excruciating pain.  
  
As he fell to the ground, he heard footsteps come toward him, heard a man's shout. He could not respond, he could not react. The whole of him was busy fighting the intensity of the pain that had invaded him through one poison tipped arrow.  
  
"goddam! Spock!" came the doctor's voice through the pain, any human would be dead by now.  
  
"He felt the Doctor shoot one shot into him after another. He felt his mental control slipping.  
  
"Doctor..no.the shots..I have no control." He managed to gasp. Whatever was in the medication that McCoy was giving him was obviously eating away at his mental barriers. With out his mental control the pain would take him and consume him.  
  
"I know, Spock, this is not massive malpractice, I have to lower you mental control, so the antitoxin can take effect."  
  
Spock began to fight the Doctor, but he didn't have enough strength.  
  
"Spock, trust me, I am trying to save your life!"  
  
"Never..been..done."  
  
"Hah, there is a first for everything, hold on Spock."  
  
McCoy gave him another shot, and the pain, to Spock's supreme unbelief, became worse. He was on the brink of unconsciousness, his body convulsed, and McCoy held him down with a strength the Doctor only exhibited when a life was in the balance.  
  
"I am.dying.doctor."  
  
"Shutup! You are not!"  
  
"Tell.the Captain.."  
  
"Didn't I tell you to shutup Spock? I am not going to let you die!"  
  
Spock's mental control was almost gone now, and he could feel the drugs taking effect. He could also feel something else. With his mental barriers gone, he could feel McCoy's determination that he survive. As the Doctor gripped Spock's wrist to check the pulse, Spock grabbed the Doctor's arm, and held on to that determination.  
  
McCoy could feel something happening to him. As Spock gripped his arm, he felt energy draining from him as if her were a battery. His first reaction was to pull away, but as he did, Spock's pulse, which had been rising, dropped again. He then realized that the Vulcan had been trying to save his own life by taking energy from McCoy. Spock's eyes were hazy when he looked into them, but he was still conscious.  
  
"I...understand.Doctor."  
  
"What the hell was that?" Spock?"  
  
"An ability.I thought only Vulcans.Could.It is the transfer of life force..**"  
  
That last speech had drained Spock, and once again began to slip quickly away. McCoy didn't stop to think about the effect this would have on himself, he gripped Spock's hand for all he was worth and did his best to concentrate, to give what he had to save the other.  
  
"Hold on Spock.Your with a friend...let me help!"  
  
  
  
(Later)  
  
Spock woke up the next day to find himself in a biobed in sickbay. The Captain was hovering over him, and, as usual, so was nurse Chapel.  
  
What was not usual was that Dr. McCoy was missing.  
  
Spock experienced a perfectly logical moment of fear. The Vulcan technique of the transfer of life force was extremely dangerous. Many had given their lives during the process.  
  
"Where is Dr. McCoy?" were the first shaky words out of his mouth. He saw Captain Kirk smile and move aside. The doctor was resting peacefully on the biobed right next to Spock.  
  
"What happened down there, Spock? Nurse Chapel tells me that they found you sleeping peacefully with the remains of a highly deadly toxin in your blood stream, and McCoy was collapsed next to you unconscious. We thought he'd go into a coma, but they got to him just in. time."  
  
  
  
Spock looked at the Doctor, puzzled by the irrationality of it all. H would have been a goner anyway, but McCoy had risked his own life to bring him back by a procedure he did not totally understand.  
  
It took several days for McCoy to fully recover. When asked about his highly illogical actions, the doctor had spent as much time as he could, ranting at Spock for being an ungratefulsonofaVulcan. Then, when it was clear that Spock expected an answer, he signed and explained.  
  
"It's something we humans call hope, Spock. That's why we have Doctors at all. It's why we bother to heal and so save people's lives. We hope that the next second, that extra second of life will be better than the last."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Spock now understood the emotion that had escaped him in the city. It was a reaction to the fact that a colleague, no a friend, was in danger of losing his life. A combination of fear, anger, and hope.  
  
It was a fact. McCoy was not dead.  
  
Spock sat up and came to his conclusion. To eradicate that feeling for the time being, he only had to accomplish one thing, although he would probably regret it later on. He would have to save Doctor McCoy.  
  
A sound came from the couch, and then a moan. Captain Kirk was waking up.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
BREATH PEOPLE! DO NOT PANIC!  
  
I posted another chapter.  
  
  
  
Yeah thank me later with reviews galore.  
  
** transfer of life force idea, from Triangle, by Sondra Marshak and Myrna Culbreath 


	16. Chapter 15: A Convincing Argument

Author: Keridwen Title: Forgiven Disclaimer: Wow, It's the middle of the day. I see.... light! Yes, it is my day off from work, and what do I do? Write fan fiction all day! Dude! I'm obsessed. Plus, I apologize, I deliberately misleaded you into believing that Kirk was the one to give them away with my pissed off remark, I just didn't want you all suspecting what I had planned until I posted. No, Spock hasn't lost his control, and I don't believe I am breaking character either. His loss of control can easily be explained. This takes place quite near the start of the series, and right before "Amok time" so his loss of control would be normal for most Vulcans at about this time. (ifyaknowwhatimean) Don't worry Tavia, I have something else in store for our favorite Captain. And, Elf.Thanks, I thought you had fallen off the face of the earth, but hey, what can I say, I didn't post a chapter for two weeks back there. Oh, um Star Trek belongs to......Cid from FFX!  
  
Yeah, I know, makes very little sense, just read!  
  
Congratulations: to Sparrow and Falcon, my best friend and her man who just got back together.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Sixteen: A Convincing Argument  
  
Kirk came to with a splitting headache.  
  
"Spock, what the hell happened?"  
  
"We were on the verge of being discovered. I thought it was necessary to render you unconscious."  
  
"Good work."  
  
"I was wrong."  
  
"What!"  
  
"I was wrong, you weren't about to give us away."  
  
"Well if I wasn't who was."  
  
"Me."  
  
Kirk became concerned at that. For Spock to admit that he had emotions was one thing. For him to admit that he was unable to control them was another."  
  
"Can you go on?"  
  
"Yes, I am under control."  
  
"What was it that we heard that sparked us off, we were supposed to be gathering technical information, or so I thought."  
  
"We stumbled onto an overly zealous torturer for hire, who was boasting about his latest job."  
  
Kirk's face-hardened to stone.  
  
"I remember. Spock, we have to find him."  
  
"I agree, but unfortunately we have a whole planet to search, and the communications with the ship are out at the moment. It seams that an odd field of distortion has settled over the planet, source unknown."  
  
Kirk groaned as he sat up.  
  
"Ok, we'll deal with that later."  
  
He began to get up, but all of a sudden, the chair that Spock had been sitting on had disappeared. The Vulcan fell to the floor, and a moment later, he too disappeared.  
  
"Spock!"  
  
Kirk jumped up off of the couch he had been sitting upon and had rushed forward. A transporter like noise had sounded behind him and the couch disappeared as well. He backed away as one item after another began to disappear from the room. The carpet, pictures, lamps, and others all vanished in a wavering blue light of some sort. All had vanished until Kirk was the only original thing still left. Then the noise came back and he realized with a sinking sensation, /I'm next/.  
  
And then he too disappeared as well.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Welcome, Captain Kirk, to the deep research center on Nilana. We call it home, but you may call it Observer 301."  
  
A rather irritating male voice assaulted Kirks ears even before he was fully materialized. He looked around to see Spock, sitting in the same chair that he had been sitting in moments before. The chair was among a pile of other stuff that had come with them. (That's a hell of a way to clean house) Kirk thought as he looked around.  
  
Observer 301 looked like every other underground Federation installation that Kirk had seen. Various rooms were carved into the natural rock. Transportable machinery and living accommodations were the only visible décor.  
  
"Allow me to introduce myself, I am Doctor Niles, head physician for this place. Out leader, Dr. Whitefield will be with you shortly, she with a patient right now."  
  
"I don't care, said Kirk not giving Niles a chance to finish, we will see her right away."  
  
Niles didn't fight the Captain. Perhaps he didn't was to have a conflict so early in their meeting. Kirk followed Niles out of the room, pelting him with routine questions about observer 301. Spock followed at a discreet distance, waiting for his chance.  
  
It cam quite soon. A fork in the tunnels led the Captain and Doctor Niles down a lighted corridor. Spock veered off the left and took the darker path. The Doctor ahead didn't seem to notice his absence, so he kept on moving.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
..........  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Ah, Captain Kirk, how nice to meet you.. Niles, where is the other one?"  
  
Doctor Niles looked around him in confusion.  
  
"Um, I don't know, he was right behind us."  
  
"No matter, he will be found."  
  
Kirk smiled and stepped forward.  
  
"You sound quite sure, Doctor."  
  
"Whitefield, and yes, I am sure, our security down here is top of the line. Your first officer won't get very far."  
  
"Ah, I see, you don't know my first officer very well then."  
  
"You doubt my intelligence, Captain Kirk? Well, let's see, your first officers name is Spock, son of ambassador Sarek of Vulcan. I have his given name written down somewhere here, but id is quite unpronounceable. At any rate, his mother is Lady Amanda, form Earth, Oregon to be specific. He holds the rank of Lieutenant commander, but is due for promotion quite soon. He had been under your service since you took command from retiring Captain Christopher Pike about a year and a half ago."  
  
Kirk gave the woman in front of him one of his most charming smiles. She frowned in return.  
  
"I also know just as much about you Captain Kirk, so don't push me."  
  
Kirk stepped forward and cut to the chase.  
  
"Doctor Whitefield, I am impressed. The fact remains that you know something else as well. Something you are keeping from me, and something that I need to save the life of one of my officers."  
  
"You mean Leonard McCoy, right. Of course, an old acquaintance of yours. You first met him when he was your physician after your nasty encounter with the Pirates at Epsilon Canaris III.** How is your knee by the way?"  
  
"Just fine."  
  
"He is an old friend of yours, is he not Captain? That is why you asked him to take the place of the retiring CMO. Don't look surprised at that one Captain, the whole Federation knew about it. What was Starfleet thinking! Putting a young untried Captain in command of one of their finest ships! And what does he go and do, might I ask? He assigns one of Starfleets most untried doctors, a civilian new to space, and dealing with the emotional pressures of a hard divorce, to the high position of Chief Medical officer! How on earth has the Enterprise survived? If you don't mind my asking."  
  
Kirk decided that he most defiantly did not like Doctor Whitefield.  
  
"That is entirely beside the point, doctor."  
  
"Oh, no it isn't, Captain. We saw the result of your inexperience right here on our scanners monitoring the city of Le'Gin. Your oh so inexperienced friend was accidentally beamed down with his ex-wife. You and your first officer should have known about this before you sent such a potentially dangerous person down here to a defenseless planet."  
  
"Dangerous! Leonard McCoy would never."  
  
"O Wouldn't he Captain. Don't tell me what he is Capable of. I sat here and watched it with my own eyes! Look!" Doctor Whitefield turned on a screen near her. "Your friend had a concealed phaser in his medical bag. The landing party beamed down and he proceeded to cut down everyone in his path. No doubt seeing the woman who had cause him so much pain, who had drove him into space, emotionally unprepared for what lay before him, caused him to crack."  
  
"Kirk watched, unbelieving, as he saw Bones pull a phaser out of his bag and cut down Jocelyn Darnell. Then he turned on the crowd. People ran screaming, and then there was an explosion, and then the screen went black.  
  
"Doctor McCoy was held as a terrorist by the Nilian government. I'm sure it was quite unpleasant for him, but do not worry, Captain, the suffering in his tortured sick mind is now over. A speedy trial was deemed the most merciful way to go and the Nilian Parliament sentenced him yesterday. He was executed early this morning."  
  
"That's a lie, how come I wasn't informed? The Enterprise is right overhead in orbit."  
  
"Not, anymore it isn't," sneered Doctor Whitefield, as the others left the room. "We blocked your communicators, so the Nilian Government could notify your communications officer, Lt. Uhura, of the trial. We also have heard from our sources back at Starfleet that she was ordered to bring the Enterprise back to space dock. Thanks to your inexperience, Captain, your friend caused an intergalactic incident that won't be easy to fix, and I shall enjoy sending this report to Starfleet."  
  
Dr. Whitefield turned to leave.  
  
"I do, however offer you our hospitality while you wait for Federation Special Forces to pick you up for you trial. You will be held accountable for this mess, of course. Good day."  
  
The door slammed behind Kirk as he sank to a chair, shocked.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
** Crisis on Centaurus by Brad Ferguson  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry, I know, I know, I am evil incarnate. Flame if you wish,  
  
Think of it this way.that ending should be really good now, right! 


	17. Chapter 16: The Explination

Author: Keridwen Title: Forgiven Disclaimer: Um, How can I show my face after that last chapter? Don't hate me! I just want you all to know that Star Trek doesn't belong to me anymore. Rick Berman never showed up. I got bored of owning it really fast. I want to own Final Fantasy VIII next, but I promised to finish this first and I stick to my word.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter: Um, oh, hell I am all messed up!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter: Whatever: The Explanation  
  
  
  
  
  
"Tell us what we want to know?"  
  
On the verge of death or not, Leonard McCoy was getting very sick of hearing that phrase. After the surprising call to the Enterprise, McCoy had been left alive and alone for some time. Then his old friend had returned for another round of fun.  
  
"Why the hell are you so fired up to find out what I know anyway!"  
  
"To avenge the wrongs done to us by the Federation!"  
  
"Bullshit."  
  
"What did you say?!"  
  
"You don't have enough influence of man power to start anything, and unfortunately, if the Federation wanted to observe this whole planet 24/7 there would be nothing anyone could do about it. Nilana hasn't the might to fight the Federation. What you are attempting to do is so lame-assed- stupid."  
  
He was cut off by a foot in his gut.  
  
"What do you know, physician."  
  
McCoy kept his mouth shut.  
  
  
  
His friend was about to remind him again why that wasn't so smart when the door opened and the ringleader if these yo-yo's marched in.  
  
"Leave us," he commanded.  
  
As the door swung shut, he kneeled down, knelt to McCoy, and grabbed him by the hair till his face was off the ground and facing him.  
  
"So, we meet again, Doctor Leonard McCoy, I apologize for not introducing myself the first time, but I had negotiations to conduct with the Enterprise."  
  
McCoy squinted at the leader; there was something very familiar about him.  
  
The leader grinned and leaned down to whisper into his ear, and as he did, the Doctors eyes grew wide.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Jocelyn Darnell! Can you hear me?"  
  
There was that voice again. Jocelyn was in a very bad mood. She felt as if she hadn't slept for weeks and now a voice was insisting that she get up. She had half a mind to belt this character and go back to sleep.  
  
Instead she awoke to find a rather skinny looking Nilian with pointed ears bending over her.  
  
Spock found her scream a most logical reaction; he supposed that he looked most distasteful. Nonetheless, he held her down and calmly explained the situation.  
  
"Oh stop yapping, Mr. Spock, I know all that, I even know where the base is, and I know how I got here. We have to go save him, and now that you are here.. your not alone, are you?"  
  
"No, the Captain is with me, he has just been detained in another part of the building."  
  
"Oh, detained? What did you do?"  
  
"The Scientists at this base told the Captain that Dr. McCoy beamed down with a phaser, killed you, and then proceeded to shoot anything that would move. The also told him that the Doctor was executed this morning for being a terrorist."  
  
"Oh, well that's bullshit! There was an explosion in the market place. It killed all the others, and it would have killed Leonard and I as well, but we had stepped behind one of those large pillars to have a, um, personal discussion. We were knocked unconscious from the explosion, and when we awoke, we were prisoners."  
  
Spock raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Indeed. What happened after that."  
  
Jocelyn swallowed and shut her eyes. It was all still like a terrible dream.  
  
"The wanted to know where the Federation base was. I wasn't Starfleet, so they were going to execute me. I was taken away from him, but I managed to escape."  
  
She sat up and looked around. To her surprise, she was in another prison cell. The walls were fabricated plastisteel, and there was a force field barring the door. She looked at Spock who was apparently undisturbed by their situation."  
  
"Um, where are we?"  
  
"You were put in this prison cell after they found you lying outside, suffering from extreme exhaustion. I was able to track you down using this facilities computer system."  
  
"Did they find you and lock you up in here with me?"  
  
"On the contrary, the officials of this facility presume me to be still at large. I let myself in."  
  
Spock pointed to a hole in the ceiling vent.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I suggest you regain your feet, Ms. Darnell. I will need you help. It seems that this base is not at all what it seems."  
  
"No shit, Sherlock!"  
  
Spock raised another eyebrow.  
  
"I presume you refer to the novels about the detective from your earth. Indeed, what I have been trying do for the last hour is quite similar to detective work."  
  
"What did you find?"  
  
"It seems that this facility is not sanctioned by the Federation at all. In fact, a company called GyroTech runs it. Nilana is a great suppository of the mineral Trikelium, which is necessary for the construction of antigrav terraforming equipment."  
  
"Oho! So with the Enterprise coming to settle disputes on the planet, they were in fear of being discovered."  
  
"They knew that the technology on the Enterprise was second only to their own. They decided to confuse the situation by diverting the Captains attention to other matters. It seems that the explosion was planned to kill all of you. When you and the Doctor were discovered to still be alive, they did not know quite what to do with you. It seems that there were against just killing you. It was decided that maybe there could be more profit in pretending to be Nilians and holding you for ransom. They held you prisoner for a while, until doctor Whitefield though that it would be a good idea to have the Enterprise out of the picture for good."  
  
"So first the wanted us dead, and then they wanted to hold us for ransom, and then that was too much risk again so they had to cover their tracks again."  
  
"Yes, there was too much at stake to let the Enterprise leave and inform Starfleet of the supposed secret base. They planned to lure the Captain down to the planet by keeping McCoy alive, apparently in the hands of Nilian torturers. Unfortunately for their plan, the Captain took action before they suspected. They ended up bargaining with Lt. Uhura on board the Enterprise instead of Captain Kirk. Dr. Whitefield figured that the Captain had already beamed down. She decided that they could not waste any more time. They plan to kill the Captain in only a few hours, and the Doctor as well. Then they plan to tap into the Nilian planetary defense systems and activate several nuclear warheads. Without any advanced warning the Enterprise will be destroyed, Nilana will be blamed, and a conflict will start between the federation and this planet.  
  
"What will happen then? I don't see the profit in that. If the Federation didn't bother to pay much attention to a suicide bombing, it sure as hell will pay attention to the accidental destruction of their best Starship."  
  
"If there is a conflict, this small base most likely will be evacuated before extensive Federation forces arrive. Diplomats will come first, asking for recompense. The Nilians are a historically stubborn people and will refuse, claiming and accident. Then, with pressure from GyroTech's operatives in the Federation cabinet war will be declared in secret so as not to outrage the general populous of Vulcan, Earth, Centaurus, Rigel, Deneb V, Axion III, and other peace loving planets. Nilana will loose and their planet will need outside help for rebuilding. That is where GyroTech will come in, with the supposed intent of helping to rebuild the planet, they will ask for mining rights in exchange. The Nilians will not be able to refuse them, and then they will be able to mine as much as they want.  
  
"Wow, and all the time, I thought it was a bunch of Revolutionary Nilians looking out for revenge on the intruding Federation. What do we do, Spock."  
  
"You must free the Captain and tell him everything that I have told you. I will go and get the Doctor. Show the Captain the way to the prison where you were kept, I will meet you there. If my calculations are correct, that is also where they plan to fire the warheads.  
  
Jocelyn got to her feet and Spock gave her a lift. Together they shimmied through the air vents until they came to a fork in the path. Jocelyn started to the right, and then looked back.  
  
"Spock?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'm not afraid for myself anymore. This seems like almost a no win situation. If either Leonard of you escape this, tell my daughter that I love her."  
  
"Indeed, I will convey the message Ms. Darnell."  
  
"And Spock?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Tell Leonard.. tell him.. it was all my fault."  
  
"Very well, the Captain is being held three rooms down. The other vent leads to the elevator shafts. There is a hatch at the top that will lead to the Nilian sewage system. You can get back into the city through there."  
  
"Alright, good luck to you, Mr. Spock."  
  
"Luck is illogical."  
  
"Oh shutup and just go save my ex, will ya!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Back in the prison cell)  
  
"So you see, Leonard, old friend, I am deeply sorry for what you have gone through."  
  
McCoy turned his face away and tried not to look at the human in disguise in front of him. The sting in the words of his long lost friend still, was there.  
  
  
  
Doctor Julian Niles had been in McCoy's graduating class in med school. He had been a great friend of the family. He was also Joanna's godfather. Niles had been a great Doctor and had immediately shipped out to a remote colony planet after graduation to help stop a plague. He never made it. His ship was reported lost at the hands of Orion pirates.  
  
"What happened to you Julian? What happened that could make you do this to me, and Jocelyn. We were your best friends."  
  
"Were is exactly right, Leonard. I began a new life after my rescue from the wreckage from my ship. Norton Treadway, the brother of dear Jocelyn's first boyfriend, remember him. His company, GyroTech helped me create a new purpose for myself. Now, with mining rights on this planet, we can terraform hundreds of others, new, plants and animals, discover new medicine. Think of it, Leonard, a hundred previously dead planets, now able to hold life."  
  
"You have lost it Julian."  
  
"No, I have found it. I am going to be very rich someday, and you can share in it with me, if you like. I don't have to let them kill you."  
  
"Oh go to hell."  
  
McCoy was sick of hearing him. Whatever had been left of the Doctor Julian Niles after that space disaster had been quickly consumed by his lust for power. And McCoy wasn't surprised to hear that Norton Treadway was behind all of this. Norton had been the black sheep of the family, which had always been hard for McCoy to believe since he hated Clay for wrecking his marriage. Yet, GyroTech had been in the news updates about every year since he had gone into space. It was a company one didn't mess with, not even in the legal system, although many had tried. No matter how much evidence someone had against Gyro Tech's dirty dealings, the massive company would always win every case.  
  
That one of GyroTech little schemes would someday kill him, however, never occurred to the Doctor. Niles sighed and turned to the door.  
  
"It is a pity, Leonard, but I am not surprised. You never did have any ambition."  
  
He left and locked the door.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Why do I always end with that door locking? Maybe I like the clicky noise it makes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Oh well. Anybody still confused. Review, And I will try to spread the light. 


	18. Chapter 17: Starfleet Gets a Clue

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: So you see, grasshoppers, this plot is much bigger than you ever thought. What was into a love story, (well, love lost, and pain gained) turns into a massive intergalactic plot of fraud, espionage, and mayhem, how does our good Doctor manage to get himself into these situations?  
  
Don't look at me, I just type on the keys. Stbelongstoyouknowwho.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
17 : Starfleet Gets a Clue.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I wont believe it."  
  
A very frustrated Captain Kirk slammed his fist into the wall. His faith in his best friends character could not be shaken that easily.  
  
/Even if I have come to late to save Bones/ he thought / I owe him my loyalty and friendship. Also, I sure as hell am not going to stay around here to wait for a trial I don't deserve. There is more going on here that meets the eye./  
  
Kirk looked around him and noticed a vent in the ceiling. It was perfectly accessible.  
  
He leaped up onto the desk and reached up to pull of the vent cover. It came off easily in his hands. He hoisted himself up and poked his head into the man-sized air shat. A woman's face, five inches away from his own, smiled at him.  
  
"Nice timing, Captain Kirk."  
  
To his credit, Kirk did not loose his grip at the sight of a dead woman in front of him.  
  
"Ms. Darnell, it is quite a pleasure. May I ask how you came to be in the air vents?"  
  
"Sure, Spock told meet to come and get you, it seems we have a lot of work ahead of us so get your rear end up here."  
  
Kirk complied and followed Jocelyn up the airshafts to the surface. On the way, she repeated the info that Spock had just shared with her. Kirk wasn't too happy.  
  
"I knew I didn't like that woman, and the fact that she is about to blow up my ship certainly doesn't weigh in her favor."  
  
"Yup," agreed Jocelyn as they caught the first faint wisps of fresh air, "I certainly wouldn't want to be in her shoes when you see her next. Cummon, Captain, we have to rescue the prisoner, defeat the bad guy, and save this world from a war it doesn't deserve. A piece of cake for you Starfleet people, right."  
  
Kirk didn't respond. In a grim silence, they silently headed back through the town in the backdrop of the setting Nilian sun.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Federation Headquarters)  
  
Gentlemen, I have called this meeting in reaction to new information we have just received from the Planet of Nilana. We have just had contact with the Enterprise, which I was surprised to find still stationed there. Do you have anything to say on the matter, Admiral Fitzpatrick?"  
  
"I could say the same about you, Mr. President."  
  
All heads looked up in surprise. Admiral Fitzpatrick stood up and faced the President. Like Captain Kirk had a day earlier, he was now down to playing his last card. He had expected an answer from Kirk by now, and his only conclusion could be that something had gone terribly wrong. If that was the case, the Federation was to blame for compromising its position with a technologically unsophisticated and violent race of people.  
  
"What can you tell me about this report from Commander Spock of the U.S.S. Enterprise. It states that he discovered a secret and secure Federation installation within Nilian sovereign territory upon the Enterprises arrival at the planet four days ago."  
  
The President genuinely looked surprised. He scanned the report and looked with alarm at Fitzpatrick and the other Starfleet Admirals in attendance.  
  
"Gentlemen, there is no such installation."  
  
"What! Sir, the report specifically states that the installation is protected from beaming with highly sophisticated technology. Even better than that aboard our newest Starships!"  
  
"Well now, that is a problem."  
  
The President rose from his seat and looked out his window at the city of Paris. It was nighttime and the city was lighted from each end; a truly spectacular sight. Yet, the elderly Rigelian didn't notice any of it. His brow was etched in concern and concentration. Finally he turned back to the waiting Admirals.  
  
"The new information I received was from Lt. Uhura, who was left in temporary command at Captain Kirks absence. I spoke with the young lady directly and even ordered her to disclose where the Captain Kirk whereabouts. She finally told me that she did not know where he was at the moment; all she knew was that he was on the planet somewhere. I believe that she is telling the truth, and commended her for her control of the situation. It does appear that the Captain is out of contact, and my information about this planet and their erratic tendencies to violent revolution lead me to believe that the Captain is either incapacitated, or a prisoner of one of the Nilians revolutionary groups.  
  
The President rounded on the Admirals then, staring them down with his gaze, his slightly tipped ears and pronounced jaw line added to the intimidating effect.  
  
"Captain James T Kirk is the best Captain I have ever seen in the service of Starfleet. His record so far is second only to Garth of Izar. I want him found, if he is still alive, and if he has been killed, I want answers!"  
  
A chorus of yes, sirs filled the room, and the top brass filled out. Fitzpatrick stayed.  
  
"I left, Jim Kirk there because I believed that he could get answers about the suicide bombings. We lost three ambassadors and a lot of other good people in that explosion. If anyone could have found them, Jim could."  
  
"What is it you are trying to say, Admiral?"  
  
"I am afraid, sir, that he had done exactly that."  
  
The president looked back out at Paris. Sadness filled his eyes.  
  
"I believe you are thinking along the same train of thought as I. There is only one company that is able to produce Starfleet quality technology, Mr. President. I just wish bringing Norton Treadway and his cohorts down doesn't cost us the lives of the best captain and first officer of the fleet.  
  
"Me too, Admiral, Me too."  
  
  
  
  
  
(Nilana)  
  
Spock reached the location of the place where they were holding the doctor without much trouble. It was a large villa built into the edge of a cliff. The city surrouned the villa on three sides. Spock crouched low and probed the side of the building for weak spots. He found one.  
  
The barred window was little match for his phaser, and he let himself carefully down into a darkened room with stonewalls and a dirt floor. There was a small light coming from a door across the room and he mad his way toward it.  
  
Halfway there he almost tripped across an obstruction laying his path. The obstruction moaned, and Spock looked down at the beaten and bruised face of Doctor McCoy.  
  
"I knew it," came a faint whisper. "I died, went to hell, and the devil looks exactly like Spock."  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow, but was strangely unable to come up with an appropriate and logical response as he lifted his friend off of the cold, unyielding floor.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, by now, I want to finish this fic just about as badly as you want to read the end. Hey, a girl has gotta sleep. End coming very soon. Yeah! Your going to love this, Tavia 


	19. Chapter 18: Missiles in the Night

Title: forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Ok, about three more to go. Has anyone solved my riddle yet, A love so strong, a hate, so strong. If anyone has read shadows, you know that Jocelyn is never really forgiven right up until then end. ok, not going to give the book away. Another thing from the book. Kirk mentions that he remembered Jocelyn from their last meeting, which didn't go over so well. That is an understatement If I ever saw one. That is that story that I am trying to recreate. So whose love is brought back together? Who is forgiven? And is it the same person?  
  
Ps, I gave up on chapter numbers  
  
Star Trek is obviously owned by Paramount. They are nicer than me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Missiles in the Night  
  
  
  
Jocelyn ran through the dark Nilian night. The man next to her didn't say much; they were both concentrating on keeping their minds clear. Soon they came up to a building that she remembered, and a right turn took them to the window of the cell where Leonard was being held.  
  
She moved much faster now, and pushed the Captain aside in her hurry to slide through the hole in the window that Mr. Spock had created.  
  
When she slid down she saw Spock standing there in the center of the room with something in his arms. She gasped and ran to him.  
  
Captain Kirk followed her down and took her in his arms as she began to sob at what she had seen. The stress of the past few days was wearing on them both. Even the Captain's eyes were not all together dry.  
  
"Is he alive, Spock?"  
  
"For the moment, Yes. There is extensive damage to his internal systems and both hands are completely broken, but he is still breathing."  
  
The relief in the captain's eyes was evident.  
  
"Yet we are not out of the clear, Jim. We must find the area from which they plan to detonate the warheads."  
  
Kirk turned to Jocelyn.  
  
"Can you stay with him?"  
  
"Yes, but not here. Is there a place for us to hide?"  
  
"Not safely."  
  
"Spock, put me down."  
  
To Kirks and Jocelyn's surprise, the Doctor had awoken and was trying to stand on his own two feet.  
  
"Spock, I thought you said he had extensive internal injuries?"  
  
Spock looked wearily as the Captain and he noticed that the Vulcans face looked much paler that usual.  
  
"Yes, but the pain has been controlled for the moment. Doctor McCoy is now able to travel."  
  
Spock looked at the Doctor.  
  
"I believe I have returned the favor."  
  
McCoy blinked, and then remembered that awful day when Spock had almost died. He grinned weakly and thanked the Vulcan.  
  
Spock and Kirk helped Jocelyn and McCoy out of the window again and gave Jocelyn one of the inoperative communicators.  
  
"We will try to life the field of interference," said Kirk. " Try signaling the enterprise every fifteen minutes."  
  
"Alright, Captain, best of luck."  
  
Kirk stood there at the open window for a moment and watched Jocelyn and McCoy hobble away. For an instant he wondered how tow such different people had ever found a place in each other's hearts.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(U.S.S. Athena on route to Nilana)  
  
Captain Frederick Scherer stood at the doors to the forward observation deck and steeled himself for the encounter just beyond. He had faced Klingons, Romulans, and his mother in law with more calm and perspective than a Vulcan. Yet, the young woman behind those doors operated with methods beyond reason and sense. For a civilian med student from earth, Ms. Joanna McCoy was very resourceful. Two of his security officers were in sickbay getting treatment for bite marks and bruises.  
  
The doors opened and he was surprised to see that the young woman had not moved from the position that he had left her in two hours ago.  
  
She turned at the sound of the door and smiled.  
  
"I do apologies for roughing up you security officers, Captain."  
  
"Apology accepted, I expect they will survive. You damaged their pride most of all, Ms McCoy."  
  
"I'm not surprised. I will not, however, apologize for stowing away on your ship."  
  
"I really didn't expect you to."  
  
Joanna turned back to the view port she had been staring out of and sat for a few moments in silence.  
  
"I expect, you will want an answer as to why I want to go to Nilana so badly."  
  
Of course, I have tried to guess, myself. I have even done a little bit of research into your past. There is nothing on Nilana that could possibly interest you, Ms. McCoy"  
  
"Please, call me Joanna."  
  
"Alright, Joanna, now, why do you want to get to Nilana so badly?"  
  
"It's quite simple, really, Captain Scherer, There is someone on that planet who I have never forgiven. I must get there. I don't know if I will ever have another chance to do so, this person may be already dead. In any case, I must get there."  
  
She turned back to the view screen and remained silent. The captain was even more confused than before and he moved to leave the room. As Joanna heard him go, she realized that she had lied to him. There was not one person, but two.  
  
  
  
When Captain Scherer stepped through the door, a yeoman was waiting for him.  
  
"Here is the report on the situation at Nilana, sir."  
  
"Thank you, yeoman."  
  
As he scanned the report, his eyes were immediately drawn to a name.  
  
"Oh my God!"  
  
He turned back to the door, and understood.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(Nilana, A few hours earlier)  
  
"Sulu, admit it, were lost."  
  
"No, my tricorder is just malfunctioning, that's all."  
  
"Were lost."  
  
Sulu glared at Chekov and then turned back to the tricorder in his hands. It was programmed to scan for human life forms. According to what Uhura had told them, there was only one human down here; Dr. McCoy. Yet, the scans of the area just ahead of them showed a high concentration of human life forms.  
  
"Look at this, Pavel. I thought we were the only humans moving around in the area. This shows a rather large room up ahead and to the right with about ten or twelve life human life forms."  
  
"I think your tricorder is malfunctioning."  
  
"I thought you said we are lost."  
  
""We are. And the tricorder is malfunctioning. It is the law of landing parties. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong."  
  
"Oh yeah, and who though that one up?"  
  
"A great Russian cosmonaut called Ivan Glakonivitch. The first and only landing party he was ever assigned to lost thirty two security guards, four scientists, and himself, to freak accidents. Those were his last words before a giant man eating Venus fly trap swallowed him whole."  
  
"Oh. Sorry I asked."  
  
"Yes, well, what are we going to do next."  
  
"I think we should check this room out. Who knows, Dr. McCoy may be in there."  
  
Sulu and Chekov crept up to the door and crouched low so they could hear what was being said.  
  
"I think we have gone to far Jean. Kirk is here, on the planet. We have him held at Observer 301 for the moment, but I don't know how long that is going to hold him."  
  
"Have you found the first officer yet?"  
  
"No, the man is like Houdini, we can't seem to get a fix on him."  
  
"Well, find him, and don't bother with covering it all up anymore, tell your men to shoot to kill. Get rid of the Captain as well."  
  
Very well."  
  
"And what about the good Doctor."  
  
"His usefulness here has run out. He turned down my proposition, which is to bad, he has a great mind, and we could have used him."  
  
"Well, get rid of him."  
  
"As you wish, Jean."  
  
"Oh, and Julian."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Keep it clean, I don't want a trail of bodies left here. There is going to be enough trouble explaining the Nilian missile launch that destroys the Enterprise. I don't want to leave the Federation any more mysteries than I have to."  
  
Sulu turned to Chekov to signal that they should pull back. Clearly there was more going on here that even the Captain realized. And if everything he had just heard was true, a lot more people that Doctor McCoy were going to need saving.  
  
Instead of Chekov, however, he found himself facing the business end of a phaser rifle.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And now, I hope you all understand at least a part of my riddle. 


	20. Chapter 19: Evil Unveiled

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Ok, confession first. I admit that many of my thoughts have been disjointed over the last ten chapters. I think if I moved some stuff around it would make more sense. Anyway, I deeply appreciate all of your patience, especially Tavia who has given new meaning to the word patience, and Elf, who came back to a fic that almost didn't go anywhere, and to the others who probably spent a lot of their time reading it. Your efforts are by no means unappreciated.  
  
Moral: there is more gained from trying, and maybe failing or maybe winning, than never trying at all...Star Trek is - regretfully- not owned by me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 19: Evil Unveiled  
  
  
  
Personal Log: I have just meet with Julian: outrageous fool! He thought to bring one of Starfleet into our fold. He simply has no clue, and it will be a pleasure to rid myself of him when the time comes...  
  
The Federation thinks that it can play big brother to every planet in the quadrant. I am here to prove them wrong. Norton Treadway provided me with a great opportunity, and I took it. 'See new worlds!' he told me, trying to play me for a fool. It was quite the reverse, however.  
  
It will be good to be home again. To be with Rihannsu. These humans are starting to make my stomach crawl. No doubt they would feel the same in my armor, some races were never meant to associate. If their tricorders could scan through all the genetic recoding my poor body has gone under, they would see me for who I really am. Rihannsu, or Romulan as they call my people. Then they would suppress me quickly, I would be sent to torture at their precious Starfleet command.  
  
It is good menne'sahe to see my plan finally come together, and to destroy the ship and the Captain that slaughtered my brother's career in the service of the praetorate. I think not much of his commander, she was taken in by a Vulcan, but my brother acted in a manner befitting of a Rihannsu officer. Tal was demoted for it.  
  
I will see beginning of the fall of the Federation and their precious Starfleet. With the outrage over the violation of their prime directive and what many militant factions call the Nilians inherent "Human" rights.  
  
It is quite sickening.  
  
However, with a push of this button, the Enterprise will be destroyed.  
  
This should be quite fun.  
  
A'lana out.  
  
And with smile at the ship on the screen, the Romulan agent who had created much havoc in the past few days, using GyroTech, to use the Federation, to start a conflict between different factions within her peoples arch enemy, she pressed the button.  
  
It was the last thing she saw before a phaser beam cut her down, a second to late.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
At a Nilian Planetary defense facility outside the city of Le'Gin, warning sirens pealed through the air. People rushed here and there behind a backdrop of chaos. Then the top of the largest hill outside of the city began to open up. The ground shook as the sides of the hill melted away to reveal a launching platform, which proceeded to rise up out of the earth. It transformed again, and out of the platform came six launchers. They rose in unison, twisting to point at the night sky, and their target: the Enterprise. Horrified Nilians watched helplessly as the nuclear missiles armed themselves and the firing siren went off. Panic flowed through the city at such intensity that not even psionic shields could control it. With a tremendous roar and burst of light, one missile after another burst from the launcher. They sailed into the sky until the were just points of light, moving with the stars, and then.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Incoming!"  
  
The cry from the navigator of the bridge of the Enterprise came a fraction to late."  
  
"Scotty, Shields, NOW!" cried Uhura, in a vain attempt to avoid the six missiles coming straight for them.  
  
They wouldn't come in time.  
  
A bright light filled the screen.  
  
Uhura waited for death.  
  
  
  
And waited.  
  
  
  
And then opened her eyes.  
  
A second later, she was still standing on the bridge of the Enterprise, and on the screen, directly in front of them, was the U.S.S. Athena. Cheering filled the bridge.  
  
"Athena to Enterprise, come in Enterprise."  
  
Uhura answered.  
  
"Lt. Uhura in temporary command of the Enterprise here sir."  
  
"Well, it's nice to hear from you, Lt. Communications in this area seem to be a bit garbled or we would have announced our arrival."  
  
"I thank you for you impeccable timing, Captain Scherer."  
  
"All in the line of duty Lieutenant. Now let's see if we cant help you find your Captain."  
  
"It sounds like a great plan sir."  
  
"Very well, I'll have my first officer, commander Storon, beam over in a few minutes."  
  
"Very good sir, Enterprise out."  
  
Uhura sank back and tried to recover her nerves. It wasn't hard, and now she was no longer in this alone. Captain Scherer was known by reputation for his willingness to aid others.  
  
"Thank God he's sending a Vulcan," were the last thoughts she had before she got back to solving the problem of locating her Captain.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Spock, the controls, can you stop the missiles?"  
  
"Negative, Captain, the missiles have already been fired."  
  
"Damnit, can't we do something."  
  
"Captain, another ship has entered the system at high warp, It is Starfleet registry, NCC 1066. Captain Scherer. "  
  
Spock narrated as Kirk, Sulu, and Chekov listened hard. Kirk and Spock had found the junior officers being led away by humans from Observer 301 in Nilian costume. It wasn't hard freeing the two, but Chekov and Sulu's pride to quite a sting in the behind.  
  
/"We were here to save all of you," explained Sulu as they rushed back to stop the missile launch. "We didn't count on you and Mr. Spock having to saving us."  
  
"That's perfectly alright, Mr. Sulu, these past few days have not exactly what I would call normal."/  
  
  
  
"The missiles are five thousand kilometers and closing. The Athena is moving in. (pause) The missiles have hit the Athena. No evident damage, she came in with her shields up. The Enterprise also appears to be undamaged."  
  
Kirk breathed a sigh of relief, Sulu grinned, and Chekov let out a quiet cheer.  
  
"Also, I believe I have discovered the source of the jamming field. We will soon be able to beam back up to the Enterprise."  
  
"Let's make sure we take the charming Dr. Whitefield with us, and send security down here to round up the rest."  
  
Spock nodded and Sulu grinned again. He had seen the trail of bodies that the Captain and Mr. Spock had left behind them. Those two were a very efficient seek and destroy team.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He He G. I. Spock. Funny. 


	21. Chapter 20: Decisions

Title: forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: Cheese is good.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 20: Decisions  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jocelyn managed to get Leonard into the woods before he passed out again. The man was in rough shape, his breathing was shallow, and he had a slow pulse. She laid him down next to a large tree that resembled a terran weeping willow, and tried to raise the Enterprise again.  
  
No good.  
  
Jocelyn looked up at the stars, calm now that she was in charge of her situation for the first time in days.  
  
/I am in charge/ she thought  
  
/ It is something I am quite new to. /  
  
The last time she had taken charge of her life, and had taken responsibility for her actions was when she had stood up to her parents and had married Leonard. She had reason to be proud of herself then, and it was a feeling that she hadn't felt in years.  
  
/All the hurt I've caused. All the guilt I've felt. I have no one to blame but myself. /  
  
/I am the reason I am all alone. I ruined our marriage./  
  
She looked down at her ex husband and gently moves the hair out of his eyes. His face was contorted in pain, even in sleep.  
  
/Why, why did I have to do this to him./  
  
She couldn't really find a good answer.  
  
She got up again and tried the communicator. Nothing.  
  
It was then, standing there in the Nilian woods, that Jocelyn Darnell-McCoy found herself sick of guilt. Sick of pain, and of fights. Sick of playing Joanna between them. Sick of everything.  
  
"I have had it up to here! I have had it with this life."  
  
She sank back down next to Leonard peered into his face, and made a vow.  
  
"I never deserved you. I was less than I should have become. Now I am going to turn it all around, Len. I am going to stop hurting and become the woman you always wanted. Not for you, but for Joanna, and all the others I have hurt in my life. I am going to be proud of myself once again."  
  
He didn't answer, but Jocelyn was satisfied. She may have screwed up in the past, but with a little humility, and forgiveness, she could turn it around.  
  
She leaned down, and kissed him one last time. It was good-bye for she was determined that Leonard would never see her again until she had changed.  
  
"I love you, Leonard McCoy."  
  
The whisper was drowned out by the beep of the communicator.  
  
They were going home. 


	22. Chapter 21: On the Athena

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: whoa, getting near the end folks. Star trek is not owned by me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 21: On the Athena  
  
  
  
  
  
"I thank you for you hospitality Captain, and for taking care of our guests."  
  
Kirk nodded his head to the members of GyroTech' and their Romulan leader. Captain Scherer raised one eyebrow, providing a good Vulcan imitation at the sight. He took in the group tied up one the transporter pads, and the appearance of Captain Kirk, his first officer, and two junior officers.  
  
"I think I will wait for the official story, Kirk."  
  
"Well, it sure is going to be a good one, in the mean time, will you hold this group on capitol charges. Consorting with the enemy will do nicely."  
  
"Anything you say Captain."  
  
"Uncle Jim!"  
  
The excited squeal came from Joanna, who had secretly followed the Captain to the transporter room. Captain Scherer grimaced. This was not going to be good.  
  
"Um, Miss. McCoy, I think it is better for you to wait in the lounge."  
  
But there was no stopping here. She rushed into here Uncle's arms and held on tight. He wrapped his arms around her and waited until she had stopped trembling. And then she asked.  
  
"Is it true?"  
  
"No."  
  
Her sobs of joy were unstoppable. Her knees gave out, and Kirk had to sit her on the edge of the transporter pad.  
  
"My..Dad.He's Alive!" was all she could stutter out between sobs. Kirk rubbed her shoulders in comfort.  
  
"For know, Joanna. The Enterprise is trying to locate him. He was hurt pretty bad when they found him. I think you ought to know, it isn't a sure thing yet."  
  
Joanna dried her tears and stood up.  
  
"May I come with you?"  
  
"Captain," interrupted Spock, "We are beaming the last of the technicians up from the surface.  
  
The Captain, and Joanna, who were still standing near the transporter platform, moved away to a safe distance. As the beams sounded Kirk whispered, "your with me, kiddo, I promise."  
  
She grinned and squeezed his hand in thanks.  
  
They looked up as seven figures appeared on the platform.  
  
  
  
One was very familiar to Kirk.  
  
Without preamble, Kirk walked up to the restrained prisoner and belted him in the jaw. The man fell, and Kirk was about to give him a sound kick in the gut when he was restrained; Spock on one side and Captain Scherer on the other.  
  
"Captain Kirk!?"  
  
  
  
"Bastard," Kirk spat, and the calmed down enough for the others to feel safe enough to release him.  
  
"This one is one of the few pure Nilians in the group," Kirk explained. "Torturers for hire, lunkheads who just wanted to start trouble and have a little of sick fun. They get sent back to the planet."  
  
Kirk knelt back down and faced the man he had just flattened. "Remember me, when you ever again feel the urge to have a little fun with Starfleet. If I ever here of you again, and believe me, I will, I will come back and have my first officer have some fun with you! And he is Vulcan."  
  
The terrified Nilian looked from Kirk to Spock, whose expression never changed. He gulped and nodded.  
  
"Good. Your lucky Federation law stops me from tearing you to pieces right here. Captain Scherer, will you beam these.. people back to the planet for me?"  
  
"Gladly, Captain Kirk!" Captain Scherer was the kind of friend who was able to understand without asking, and after a second, the Nilians were beamed back down for their own government to deal with them.  
  
And with that, Kirk, Spock, and Joanna left the room  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jocelyn materialized on the Enterprise with Leonard on her lap. He was hanging by a thread.  
  
"Medical Emergency. Doctor's M'Benga, Meyer, and Nurse Chapel to the transporter room. Medical Emergency."  
  
Would they come in time? 


	23. Chapther 22: The End

Title: Forgiven Author: Keridwen Disclaimer: The end is here / repent ye sinners! And be warned ye reviewers, this is the chapter where I won't mind if you Flame! FREE FOR ALL ON MY FIC. Basically, it's done now, and I am satisfied to the point where I am no longer tearing my hair. It's now time to send my child out into the wide world. Star Trek belongs to whoever is belongs to.duh!  
  
  
  
  
  
Beginnings - Endings - what once was lost, has now been found!  
  
  
  
  
  
EARLIER McCoy's POV  
  
Various parts of his body were going numb. First it had been his hands. The splinters that had been his bones and joints were now only whispers of pain, like the whispers in his head that were constantly with him, telling him he was going to die. His memories concerning his hands; surgery, using a tricorder, shaking a fist in rage, caressing a tear from a face, those feelings were absent and unattainable now.  
  
His body thrummed with pain. Broken ribs, most likely, had caused his breathing to slow to short shallow gasps. His skin ached from abrasions and bruises. All of this went on through time until it became a part of him. Until he could no longer remember a time when he had been without pain.  
  
Lying on that floor, awaiting death, he had become contemplative about his life, and bitter at the circumstances in which he was now going to die.  
  
He never rejected all that he believed in. Giving help to those in pain, no matter what past opinions he held about them, was still an important part of his psyche. When a Doctor helps others with sickness, and problems of pain, the problems he harbors are eased. Being a Doctor is a kind of self-therapy.  
  
Yet, as McCoy lay there at the bottom of a cell, waiting for death, he reasoned to himself that never helping his captors in the way he was trained to, in fact maybe even causing pain himself, wouldn't be beyond the Hippocratic oath. The whole universe would benefit from their loss, and McCoy would gladly have helped them on their way.  
  
Now he was reflecting on all the times he had comforted someone who was at deaths door, or brought them away from it if current medical knowledge permitted. All the time, he or someone else who cared had been with them. They did not have to die alone.  
  
He was going to die alone.  
  
He cursed the gods and the makers of the universe for allowing this to happen. Leonard McCoy, the doctor who had given so much, was now about to go without the comfort of his family and friends. It was cruel injustice; pure and simple.  
  
He fought despair with rational thought and logic. Spock would have been proud. 'Jim would be here, if he could,' McCoy thought, 'but the Enterprise is to far away. Jocelyn is gone, and wont return in time to be with me, if she is even able to return at all. They can't help if I am dying alone. The others? Well it is better if they weren't here. Especially Joanna.. my little girl.'  
  
Just then, his perspective changed, and he was brought out of his thoughts by a presence. A very familiar presence.  
  
Spock  
  
Confusion filled his mind as the being that seemed to be Spock, but who looked much worse, picked him up and supported his head.  
  
/Have I died already? I knew it! I died, went to Hell, and the devil looks exactly like Spock!/  
  
McCoy couldn't tell if he was speaking out loud or not, every thing was still blurry, hazy, and confused.  
  
"Doctor? Are you well enough to move? We must leave here."  
  
McCoy replied by blacking out.  
  
/Stupid, literal, walking computer!/ he thought before disappearing again into a sea of confusion. /Of course I can't move, I'm a Doctor, not a Vulcan!/  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was sometime before he found Spock again. The misty haze in his mind was disappearing. It was being driven out by a flood of energy not his own.  
  
"A debt repaid, Doctor." He heard Spock's voice stronger and clearer as he moved up to full consciousness.  
  
"I could hardly justify allowing the death of the Enterprise's Chief Medical Officer to the Captain until I had explored all the means of reviving you."  
  
McCoy now found that he had the strength to roll his eyes and did so with in luxury.  
  
"It's good to see you too, Spock."  
  
  
  
  
  
He remembered leaving Jim and Spock, and stumbling along the countryside on Nilana, supported by Jocelyn.  
  
Spock's energy soon gave out, however, and his legs returned to their putty- like state. He collapsed against Jocelyn, who lowered him to the ground. Once again the undying pain overcame him and the world of Nilana went dark before his eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Doctor, Doctor McCoy!"  
  
Damn, but the devil was persistent. McCoy opened his eyes to face his eternal plight, and instead saw the face of Christine Chapel looking joyfully down at him.  
  
"Wha!"  
  
"Bones!"  
  
There was Jim, hovering right at his side. He was on a biobed in the sickbay of the Enterprise. That thought alone brought him so much relief he wanted to weep. Jim was grinning like an idiot, his Nilian disguise gone now. Christine was busy checking his life signs, trying to hide her plentiful tears. And behind the Captain.Spock.  
  
"Greetings, Doctor."  
  
"Spock?"  
  
It was true, he was back. He tried to sit up, but found he couldn't. Then he remembered, and slowly with regret, tried to look down at where his hands were supposed to be. There was no way they could have saved them. With worry he thought of what he had lost. How would he help the crew? Jim was sure to try and kill himself again along with a couple people from security, who would be waiting here to patch them up?  
  
Kirk saw the sorrow enter his friend's eyes, and hurried with his good news to cheer him up.  
  
"It's ok, Bones. Regeneration is going to take a while, at least six months, but you are going to be just fine."  
  
McCoy looked further down his arms to where his hands had been. There, on the bed, were two squat egg shaped regeneration units humming softly, marking the growth of new skin and bones. Also, over his chest was a respirator with regeneration capabilities. He wondered why he hadn't felt it before. It stung like the devil, but at least he was healing.  
  
"Well, we will leave you now, but you have a visitor first." Said the Captain. He turned to the door, and in came a bundle of worried energy.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"Joanna? Is that you kiddo!"?  
  
Kirk and Spock left the sick bay and nurse Chapel returned to her office. Father and Daughter had much catching up to do.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Later that night:  
  
"So, your Mom went home on the Athena?"  
  
"Yes, don't worry, she was fine. It sounds like you two had quite an adventure?"  
  
"Yes, you could say that."  
  
(Pause)  
  
"Dad, she told me everything before she left."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Are you alright with that. I know that you wanted me to respect my mom always."  
  
"And you should, she loved you very much."  
  
"Did she love YOU very much?"  
  
"I like to believe that she did, once. Now, I don't know."  
  
"You know, grandma always wanted me to believe that you had left me. That you left because you didn't love me or mom anymore."  
  
"But, you know that is wrong."  
  
"Yes, but for a long time I didn't. To know that it was really mom's fault and that you were the one hurting the most really changed my perspective."  
  
  
  
Joanna and her father had talked until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. She had left, then, to the forward lounge to think things over.  
  
In the past few days she had lost a mother, and a father, and had gained both back by what could only be called a miracle. She loved her mom, who had stayed devoted to her even through her rough spots, and she loved her father as well, who would always span great distances of space when she was in distress to be with her.  
  
So then why did she still feel hurt?  
  
"Sometimes things like this are never totally resolved," she told herself, "At least my father and I are back together again. He will recover. After all," she smiled to herself as she walked to her room, "He is the best, damn doctor Starfleet ever had."  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Jocelyn Darnell sat down at a computer in one of the Athena's more deserted recreation lounges and composed a message to her daughter.  
  
Dearest Joanna,  
  
I have no excuse for my actions. I know that when I told you the truth you still believed me to be super mom, just like when you were young. You used to say to the other kids that you didn't need a daddy because you had one super mom who could do it all. I know how hurt you were by your father's absence, and I knew I was the one who caused it.  
  
Never forget! I love you more than life itself and so does you father.  
  
I am returning to earth to start over. I hate the press industry anyway. What do you think about the Diplomatic core?  
  
Hm, maybe you're right. More school for me?  
  
Well I'll miss you, but I know you will make the finest doctor in the world. Just like your daddy.  
  
Love Mom  
  
  
  
  
  
"I don't know Spock, I still don't think that I understood what was going on down there." (Authors sentiments as well)  
  
"It was a unique situation, Captain. The Nilian civilization was so wrapped up in the explorations of their own internal problems for the last few years that they neglected the fundamentals of society, mainly mutual protection. The planetary defense systems had so eroded, and being primitive to start with, that it was no trouble for a company oriented in black market deals, like GyroTech, to move an entire operation down there without someone noticing. They recruited native people into their confidences with the hops of keeping an ear on the political battle in the planet. Their position was a tenuous one, and they had to wait for just the right moment, to cause massive conflict within the peoples of the planet. Yet, just as it was easy for a corrupt company to enter a planet so preoccupied, so it was with a Romulan agent, set loose in the cooperate world of the federation, trained to find the perfect situations to cause the federation the most harm. Thus we see the situation that just occurred, with the corruptors being corrupted themselves."  
  
"So, by the time, Gyro Tech was ready to make its move, the Romulan agent had other plans. When Bones and Ms. Darnell decided to step away from the group, her operatives took the opportunity to drag Starfleet even more into this mess than it already was. Keeping Starfleet in the system, i.e. The Enterprise, was the key to her plans, and when she found out who she had really captured, and how she could use McCoy against his friends, this Romulan agent was cunning enough to try to keep the Enterprise in the system until she could activate an unprepared missile attack."  
  
"That was the reason she kept the Doctor alive for as long as she did. The Romulan didn't know if she would need to use him again to keep the Enterprise's attention focused on the planet."  
  
"Well, I am glad that it was all brought out into the open. What do you think will become of the agent?"  
  
Kirk and Spock had been walking toward the turbo lift to being their morning shift. As the doors shut with a silent swish, Spock answered.  
  
"I can not tell. The legal system in the Romulan government is very complex. No doubt she will suffer the same degradation as a spy or a traitor."  
  
The Captain mulled over this for a minute, and then grinned.  
  
"Well it's nothing to worry over, Spock, the important thing is that we got our Doctor back."  
  
"Indeed. McCoy's presence would have been greatly missed by the members of this crew."  
  
Kirk looked at Spock with understanding.  
  
"I know, Spock, We really should try to take better care of our physicians."  
  
Spock nodded seriously and the doors opened to the bridge.  
  
But both men knew how close they had come to loosing one of their greatest friends. They would never again take these moments of friendship aboard the Enterprise so lightly.  
  
Captain and first officer stepped onto the bridge to mind the store.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The End  
  
  
  
Credits Creativity: Keridwen's three in the morning persistence to tweak this story just right.  
  
Supporting writer: Keridwen's best friend Sparrow who is very good to try a story on . just for shock value.  
  
Motivation: Keridwen's younger-yet taller- brother. Alias Cid. Cid would always tell me it stinks. Believe it or not that is great motivation to find out ones mistakes and eradicate them from the face of this earth.  
  
Fan Support: Can u really guess, Tavia! With out you, I would still be sitting at chapter two picking my nose! Thanks!  
  
Fan Frustration: Starseeker: For writing all those tempting yet unfinished stories just as I am trying to finish mine. Way to distract me!  
  
And to Phantom: my roommate who lets my type so late at night without succumbing to the urge to kill me and eat my guts for breakfast.  
  
And to the rest of my classmates at college who have fondly dubbed me with the wonderful nickname: trekkie  
  
  
  
Thank you all have a good night, don't drink and drive:  
  
But it is ok to drive and eat cheese and I highly recommend it.  
  
God Bless:  
  
Keridwen 


End file.
